How to Talk to Young Children
There are those who receive the title “Cheerful Aunt / Uncle [name]” with every child they interact with. And there are others who are embarrassed with small children (“Hmm, what is she thinking about and why is she looking at me like that ?”). I’m here to help the last group. Because there may be times when you, an outstanding adult, need to hang out with these little people – say, if you are sitting next to a cousin’s daughter at a family reunion, or trying to earn points with your new girlfriend’s son. You can do it. Children can be great conversationalists if they feel like you are genuinely interested in them. Really. They are just like us!
Here are some tips from parents on the Offspring Facebook group on how to talk to young children (spoiler alert: none of them ask “So, um, how’s school?”).
- Call them by name – not Little Dude, Princess or Dan Dan. This is basic respect.
- Don’t change your voice. It is true that babies respond well to the higher pitch of a song. But with children over 3 years old, speak like you. “My 4-year-old daughter responds best to people who just talk to her like anyone else,” writes a father named Paul. “In the worst case, she will giggle at you if you change your voice, intonation, or talk too much with the baby, finding you stupid because Mom and Dad don’t talk like that. Or, at best, she will answer you in the same way, if you say so and understand her best that way. ” When speaking with children, you can use simpler phrases without drowning out the words. “These are grapes, not grapes,” writes a mother named Tiffany.
- Physically lower yourself to their level. This is something I don’t do often because, well, it’s hard to come back, but it’s a nice gesture to show the child that you are not taller than him. I read that Robin Williams would squat when meeting children to talk to them face to face. (I may be crying now.)
- Continue strange. A dad named Brendan writes, “Don’t correct them if they tell you something crazy. Just play along. I hate people who suppress children’s creativity or fun by rejecting or correcting the stupid things they say. ” Plus, he says, pretending is fun. If a child tells you that he has just returned from Saturn, do not say, “Yes, this is unlikely.” Ask him what he ate there and if he met new friends.
- Tell me more. A parent named Kerry gives advice: If you don’t understand what the child is talking about, say, “Tell me more.” This allows them to take the lead.
- Name the interests of children you know in informal conversations. I learned this trick. Instead of asking the child, “Have you ever been to Disneyland?” (yes, end of conversation), try to slip away from familiar childhood interests in your own stories. “I rode Teacups at Disneyland, spinning really fast and I was dizzy.” Their eyes light up when they think, “I ALSO FEELED dizzy while driving for a cup of tea.” Most likely, they will tell their fascinating stories.
- Show them your scars. No, we’re not talking about the ones your ex-girlfriend left behind when she broke up with you in 2003. Your real scars. “Show them and tell your child where your scar came from,” writes a mother named Clovis. “Children love to show off their own scars, so it makes them understand that you will listen to their stories of how they got them.”
- Learn a few children’s games. “Children love, please, could you …” adds Clovis. “Would you rather be flying or being invisible? Would you rather be rich or powerful? Would you rather eat worms or crickets? »Pick a Hand is also a winner. Show your child a small object, place it in an arbitrary fist behind your back, and then show your two fists and ask the child to choose which hand he thinks he is in.
- Be creative. Is there anything interesting in your bag? A tornado can be made from a half-empty water bottle. Or let them play with a stack of miniature stickers. Or grab your phone, open Instagram Stories, switch it to selfie mode, and apply these fun face filters to your child. Kids love funny face filters.
- Avoid cheap gimmicks. These include: trying to get the kids to open up by tickling them ( boundaries , people), showing them how hard they can hit you with their hands or hitting you with a bouncy bat (kids may like this, but their parents probably won’t), and ask them whether they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Also, as a father named Austin writes, “Please don’t start out by saying they’re cute or cute!”
- Be yourself. Children look to adults for guidance on how to proceed. So if you’re uncomfortable, they will be too. But if you talk to them like any other person, naturally, they will open up. Once they do, listen. You may even learn something new.