The Best Way to Convince Someone That They Are Wrong Is to Show Them How Right They Are.
When you are discussing a topic with someone, it is in your best interest not to tell someone that they are wrong. All this forces the other person to defend himself, forcing him to become even more strengthened in his convictions. Instead, tell them how they are right and then teach them to realize that they are wrong.
This approach to compelling debate dates back to the 17th century philosopherBlaise Pascal . He found that the best way to change someone’s mind is to look at things from their point of view, and then give them the opportunity to change their own minds. Pascal writes in the 9th section of Pence :
“When we want to correct with advantage and show the other that he is mistaken, we must notice from which side he looks at this issue, since from this side it is usually true, and recognize this truth to him, but open the side to him. on which it is a lie. He is satisfied with this, because he sees that he was not mistaken and that he just could not see all sides … People are usually better convinced of the reasons that they themselves discovered than those that came to mind. other “.
Simply put, if you want someone to understand that they are wrong, start by showing them how right they are, and then show them what they may not be aware of. Provide them with information that will lead them to their own enlightenment, and you will avoid heated debate. As Pascal explains, no one is offended by the inability to see all aspects of something. We’re only human, right? But people will be offended when you tell them they are wrong, because it will feel like a personal attack on their character and intelligence. Once you do this, your chances of collaboration will drop.
Arthur Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, tells Quartz’s Olivia Goldhill that this philosophical approach to rhetoric really works well in the real world. According to Markman, you give someone the opportunity to relax their guard and allow them to change their mind without fear that it might look bad. Collaboration is back on the table, and intellectual discussion can flourish through a kind of unspoken social interaction, such as, “I agree that you are right about this, and I will give you some information, then you are free to admit you,” I am wrong about this without unnecessary punishment. ” Sometimes changing someone’s mind means giving them a chance to do so.