How to Cancel Plans Without Making Someone Angry
The rejection of social plans is the highest point of self-satisfaction: first you gave up plans, and then – from freedom. But sometimes you leave the other person irritated and betrayed. So whenever you cancel someone, be sure to make new plans with them right away, says Reddit editor DevotedlyHopeless in a post on / r / LifeProTips . Here are some more tactics for cancellation without further ado.
Be honest, kind of like
If you’re canceling an offer because you’re just not in the mood, it’s okay to admit. There is an obvious limit: you cannot say, “I realized that I hate spending time with you.” But when canceling a date with a real friend, Reddit editor ReelGeizt suggests saying something like, “Hey man, I know this sucks, but I’m just not in the mood to date today.” Emotional honesty strengthens your concern for this person, which softens the blow of a canceled plan. Plus, you’ll feel better if you don’t lie.
Still pay as much attention as possible, and still apologize, and still make new plans. Don’t use this as an excuse to give up really important plans; you can’t miss the funeral because of a hangover. And if such cancellation becomes a frequent habit, you are making too many plans; see below.
Get ready with a new plan
It is a common social behavior that people sometimes cancel plans because they regret them in the first place. People know this, so when you undo them, they worry that you pulled them on all the time. Therefore, when you do not do it – even if you never do – you need to prove it by initiating a transfer in order to demonstrate its sincerity.
Make less ambitious plans
Changing the schedule immediately has a practical advantage: it’s a good time to see what went wrong and move it to a place and time that is less problematic.
Maybe on a dinner date you should skip drinks. Maybe a group trip requires moving to individual appointments. Perhaps collaborating on a project should just be a pointless get-together.
Maybe you are overly optimistic about travel times, or you forget that you are always exhausted after work, or that you honestly never plan on driving to the suburbs, no matter how much you plan.
Responsible people often work no harder than cereal; they are simply more realistic in their capabilities.
Batch cancellations
To avoid problems, please cancel as soon as possible. One helpful tactic is to take a look at your week of the previous weekend and determine which plans need to be canceled. Often times, you might already say that you will be too overwhelmed for this show on Thursday, or that you will not be able to get to all three parties on Friday. Make all of your cancellations in advance. It also makes it easier to reschedule, since you are currently not busy with what might have caused you to cancel plans in the first place.
If you are the one always getting canceled, then do it in reverse, as from the users of Reddit RESET-BACKWARD offers . Check-in a few days before each plan. “Still Wednesday?” You may discover even more cancellations, but this will give you more time for new plans.
The thousands of comments on the original Reddit thread express a wide range of opinions, from “I’ve never canceled a plan in my life, I’m made of calendars” to “Why are women so afraid of rejecting men other than being killed?” on “Time is an illusion, I just booked myself a wedding twice.” I’m exaggerating a little. But wherever you are on the plan canceling spectrum, you are not the worst. And there was always room for improvement.