Where Are All the Uncircumcised Men?
Some people have problems that require the delicate advice of a qualified professional. Others just need a random guy on the internet to kick them in the teeth (i.e. honestly). I am the last one. Welcome back to Tough Love .
This week we have a woman who only wants to date uncircumcised men, but doesn’t know how to find them.
Note: I am by no means a therapist or medical professional. People ask for my advice, and I give them. End of transaction. If you have any problems, please submit a formal complaint here . Now that this doesn’t get in the way, let’s continue.
Hi, Patrick,
I’m a woman in my 50s who haven’t met in over ten years. Everything seems to have changed in the dating arena, and that scares me. In fact, my last long-term relationship (7 years, ended last year) was with a married man because for the first time in my life I’m exploring what it’s like to have sex with an uncircumcised man.
I used to be married, and after a divorce, I dated a dozen men, all were circumcised, and everyone made me wonder why sex was not so enjoyable. After meeting a married guy and having sex, I finally figured out what it was about and now I would like to have this with a single man and have a truly lasting relationship that I have wanted all my life.
But how the hell can I find someone? I can’t ask them on the first date about the condition of their penis, it would be weird, superficial and wrong, but I know that sex is extremely important in a relationship, and now it kind of breaks the rules for me. Any thoughts?
For the foreskin
Hi foreskin: I was not aware of the “hype” around sex with uncircumcised men – thanks for the interesting Google search, by the way – but for those playing the house game, the idea is that the extra skin makes the penis a little wider and may offer more stimulation. That said, there is no hard evidence (heh) that the foreskin actually improves sex, so I think you are approaching the search for love the wrong way. It’s not about circumcision; it’s about sexual compatibility .
You don’t need an uncircumcised penis for good sex, and most people agree that size and shape are not as important as a partner’s skills in the bedroom. To be honest, I think you’re just out of luck to find men who decently make you feel good ( they should read this ), with the exception of a married guy. The fact that he had a foreskin on his penis is probably a coincidence. Who knows – maybe it was the taboo of all this that pushed you? Now, just in case, I asked our local sexologist and sex therapist Vanessa Marin about this issue and she agreed with me. She said that the foreskin might add a little extra stimulation, but it’s more likely that you’ve just met someone you actually had good sexual chemistry with, which is very important! A good relationship stimulates the heart, mind, and body.
However, if you like the foreskin, this is what you like. Perhaps you’ve developed a fetish for an old jacket, and that’s okay too. If you are determined to find an uncircumcised guy, Marin suggests that you visit dating sites specifically designed for fetishes. I’ll let you google it yourself. Or maybe you could ask the uncircumcised guy to wear something that mimics the feeling for you. Otherwise, you will have to continue dating as usual: by trial and error, just like everyone else. You’re right, you can’t directly ask people about the condition of their penis, but you still won’t know if you’ve had sexual intercourse with someone up to a certain point in your relationship, right? It takes a while to find the person pushing all the buttons you want, but don’t give up the guys who check all the other checkboxes just because they don’t have a turtleneck on.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me with #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR REQUEST TO BE INCLUDED, AND PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.