Here’s How Many Friends You Need to Be Happy.
Friends make you happy, healthy, and they will be there when the pouring rain begins. But how many are needed? It turned out that in the series ” Friends” everyone learned.
Back in the early 90s, British anthropologist Dr. Robin Dunbar came to an interesting conclusion : people can probably only maintain social relationships with an average of 148 people, due to the size of our brain’s neocortex, or what is known as Dunbar’s number. More demands on the processing of social information requires more cognitive resources , and we only have a certain fraction of mental capacity. Basically, we strive to have 150 meaningful relationships in our life, be it family, friends, or casual acquaintances. Your Facebook may have hundreds or thousands of “friends”, but a significant portion, if not most, of them have already been forgotten.
Dunbar’s later research led to the concept of “Dunbar’s layers”, which took into account the emotional closeness between people. This meant that your relationship was more like layers than a cloud of 150 people. At the nearest level there are three to five people , at the next level – 15 people, then 50, and so on. This inner layer makes up your “vital friendship” or your inner circle of close friends. These are the people you should meet regularly, discuss personal matters, and maintain a strong emotional connection. In Friends, every protagonist – Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler – is the five people in his life, making him a pretty decent role model on a biological and sociological level. If you can manage to keep three to five close friends in the same way, you will most likely be satisfied. After all, who would be better off with people who will always be by your side?
Do you need three to five friends to survive? Probably not, but you need at least one. Isolation and loneliness kill us all as we get older, so it’s vital that you stick with at least one best friend. If you don’t have at least one good friend, or if you want to strive for the magical range of three to five, it’s time to reach out to your acquaintances and turn them into friends. Ask people for coffee, watching a movie, or having lunch. Join a local club or group and don’t be afraid to connect with old friends who may have lost their relevance. Just remember, in order to make and support friends, you need to be close to them too.