How to Arrange an Overnight Stay
As a child, there is no party better than a pajama party. Staying up late, learning to burp the alphabet, eating candy before you vomit – what’s not to love?
When you are a parent, organizing a sleepover is an exercise in learning to balance the good with the bad. It is much cheaper than renting an inflatable house, but the money saved is spent on energy. With a few tips in mind, you can throw a fun party that your child will love.
Space
Choose a room that is separate from the people in the house who are not sharing the night. People who are actually planning to sleep . The kids at the party at night will fill the night hours with giggles, screams, shouts and wrestling matches. Isolate them in a basement, den, or attic. The bomb shelter is perfect.
Make the space comfortable with bean bags, blankets and pillows – whatever you have on hand – that will create a soft rodent nest. Don’t worry about having air mattresses or cots for every child. They will turn off anywhere, on any semi-soft surface.
Decorate the room to set the party’s theme, and let guests know in advance if they should bring items that might contribute – Ninja Turtle pillows, Harry Potter wands, or Pokeman cards – whatever kids these days.
Group selection
The size of the room will determine the size of the group. Don’t book too much! Even if you have a huge home, limit the number of guests to eight or so. The level of drama and the likelihood of injury increases exponentially with each additional guest, so if your comfort level is only four kids, trust your gut.
Ideally, your child will choose a group of friends who get along well, but are best aware of ongoing arguments. Do these people have a history of fights? Is the booger clicking?
Now is not the time to include a cousin or a neighbor. The group dynamics in children is very strong, and a child who starts the evening like a fifth wheel can spend a measly 16 hours in your home. We learned this from our own experience, mixing two different groups of friends at one of our daughter’s parties. There was a lot of crying, comforting and mediation that night, and we said, “No more overnight stays.” Before we forgot, we said it and planned another one.
Details, Details
Get phone numbers and important information from your guests’ parents. Food allergies, pet allergies, death fears. Find out if parents are available in case Susie gets pissed off in the middle of the night and has to go home to her bed.
If one or more of your guests are developmentally atypical, listen to their parents’ advice and make sure that none of the planned activities will rule them out. Adjust the agenda if necessary without giving a reason.
You must openly declare any hazards in your home. Is your dog biting? Does your husband dine armed like Homer Simpson ? In all seriousness, if you have a trampoline, pool or gun, explain how these things will be secured or used safely during the night. (It is forbidden to swim with the Glock!)
Events
The planned activities and your participation in them will depend on the age of the guests. Younger children 6 or 7 years old will need a referral. You should be willing to help them, for example, go from crafts to karaoke. Children aged 8 to 11 years old will be mostly independent, but they may need common sense intervention. (Let’s not go down the stairs in the laundry basket, girls.) Anyone 12 and older will kill you with cold silence if you make the mistake of trying to communicate.
Find common ground with movies and video games. If Timmy is afraid of dragons, don’t introduce him to Toothless. If Sarah talks shit killing everyone in Mario Kart, choose another game before the pint-sized cage match takes place.
Technology is not needed. My daughter loves to play phone games with her friends. She organizes an impromptu theater company under any circumstances. Games like Twister, Pictionary, or charades are great options to make everyone stupid and tired.
Feel free to let the kids rule the evening, but know your limits and don’t play around. Maybe you don’t mind if they bake cookies, but you hell aren’t going to the store for special ingredients.
Make siblings disappear
It works both ways. Older siblings can be jerks and budding hooligans. Younger people can be intrusive and annoying.
The last time we had a sleepover for our daughter, I took her little brother to see Despicable Me 3 (again). I chewed popcorn and dozed while he laughed at the jokes he knew by heart. That was great. By the time we got home, he was ready for bed, and the kids who were spending the night were ready to lock themselves in the basement. When our boy is old enough for a sleepover, I’ll take his sister to a play or a concert – something just for big kids that we usually miss.
The effect of this divide and conquer strategy is that the rest of your kids – not just the party thrower – feel special because they can do something special too.
They will all feel even more special when they eat donuts the next morning. You remembered donuts, right?