How to Deliver an Unexpectedly Fatal Blow
The success of most parties depends on the quality and quantity of the booze served, and while it is easier for the host or hostess to serve a large bowl of punch, serving punch that people will come back to is a little more difficult. A good hit is so balanced that you don’t even know there is some ethanol floating in there, and we’re going to show you how to make a really good hit. (You should, of course, always tell people if you are serving them a drink.)
At Lifehacker Now wicked week , which means that we are studying is not quite decent methods to deal with the shit. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you’re really mean, this week might not be of any use to you. You decide.
Death Strategy # 1: Treat It Like a Giant Cocktail
A good cocktail is properly watered down and balanced, and the same can be said for a punch bowl. Instead of dealing with oleosugars and the like, take a page from the book of Death and Co and treat it like a giant cocktail. You should definitely read the book and try their recipes, but their method can be used to create punch from almost any alcohol. To make a large bowl of balanced booze, you will need:
- 12 sugar cubes
- 8 ounce soda
- 6 ounces of your main liquor
- 6 ounces of liqueur and citrus juice (a 50/50 mix of one liqueur and one juice, or 2 ounces of liqueur and 2 ounces each of two different juices will do.)
- 4 dashes or so bitters if you like
- Matching side dishes
Take the giant pitcher and stir the sugar cubes with 3 ounces of soda. Add everything but the remaining baking soda to the pitcher and fill 3/4 full with ice. Stir with a large spoon until chilled, then strain into a punch bowl – use a colander – over a very large block of ice. Top with leftover baking soda and garnish with your own fruit fruits.
Deadly Strategy # 2: Get The Hottest Things
I do not mean “sharp”, I mean “super resistant”. I mean “bottles of 50% ABV or more,” hot. Here are some good ones that get in the way without bringing up memories of isopropyl:
- Apple brandy Laird’s Bonded
- Rittenhouse 100 Proof Rye
- Old Grandpa 114 Bourbon
- Gin Westbourne Strength Martin Miller’s Gin
- Any Plantation Super-Resistant Rum
Keep in mind that there is no reason why you need to stick to one bottle or even one alcohol. Brandy goes well with bourbon or rye, gin goes well with tequila, and rum goes well for anyone. If you need inspiration, take a look at a tiki drink and remember, “What one rum cannot do, three rums can do.”
Deadly Strategy # 3: Pour It All In
Vermouth with tea, something with citrus, or even gin and coconut oil can all soften the punch’s drunken taste without diluting it.
- To brew any 750 ml bottle of tea, simply add three tablespoons of this substance to the alcohol and let it hang at room temperature for a couple of hours before straining the parts of the plant.
- If you have a sous-vide setup, you can fill citrus peels with liquor in a matter of hours. ( We’ll show you how here .)
- To add a light coconut flavor to any liquor, simply add a cup of unrefined coconut oil to 750 ml of alcohol in a large jar, shake and let sit for 12 hours in the refrigerator. The next day, remove the hard butter from the top of the gin, rum, or whatever, strain through something very small, and bottle again.
If none of this strikes you, you can always just mix grain alcohol with a liter of Hawaiian punch. It’s not exactly balanced, but, speaking from experience, extremely deadly.