Dick Moves to Win Board Games
Board games are a safe place to resolve conflicts with family and friends, with the understanding that once the game is over, everyone will be on good terms again. It also makes them the perfect place to dispel all your petty frustrations and revenge fantasies under the guise of good entertainment. Here’s how to annihilate your opponents with dick moves that seem like cheats, but they’re all sanctioned by a set of rules.
At Lifehacker Now wicked week , which means that we are studying is not quite decent methods to deal with the shit. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you’re really mean, this week might not be of any use to you. You decide.
Scrabble
People always think that all book nerds love Scrabble. Some of us don’t! Scrabble is not really about words; they are just letter combinations. If you’re a Scrabble hater forced into the game, get back to these tight-fisted strategies.
Block squares
Most scrabble strategies are designed to maximize points. But it is also important to minimize your opponent’s points. Do not leave holes in them to build a square of double or triple words. Eventually they will be forced to give you a chance; always take it, even if you can say a mediocre word. (I learned this strategy by playing Words With Friends against a Republican.)
Block the board
In most games, someone ends up “opening the board” by laying out a long branch that anyone can build. This man is a loser. Take advantage of their generosity, but don’t give up. Memorize two-letter words to build parallel words that clog the board rather than forking.
Play fake words
And if you are really cunning and willing to take risks, play a fake word . This is a legal move! If the enemy challenges you, you will lose points. But if they challenge you and the word is in the Scrabble dictionary, they lose their turn. So create fear of this risk. Before playing the fake one, it is helpful to play a couple of incomprehensible words.
Try to say a word that feels real. This makes your opponent wary of challenges. Even if they know you came up with a word, it can still be real. And it will still be in your favor. The rules do not say that you have to know the definition of a word, or even that it exists. And as soon as the next player makes a move, yours will no longer be challenged.
Most of the online versions of Scrabble do not allow fake words. This is fine; Half the fun of faking a word is watching everyone sweat, which can only be done in person.
Chess
Like scrabble, chess is not just a strategy, it is memorization: how many mating patterns can you recognize and can you get your opponent to do one before they force you?
Humiliate a newbie with a quick checkmate
Win in two turns with the Fool’s Assistant . This only works in certain openings against an inexperienced player when you go second. If White raises his pawns in front of his king’s bishop and knight, Black can send his queen for a quick checkmate.
A slightly less obvious assistant of the scientist unfolds the game in four moves with a queen and a bishop; with the right sacrifice,From’s Gambit can deliver it in five. And in the legal trap, White lures Black with a queen sacrifice before an early checkmate. Presumably, its inventor lured the trap (and covered up a possible escape) with a face-to-face bluff:
Legal disguised his trap with a psychological trick: first he touched the knight on f3, and then retreated with his hand, as if only now realizing that the knight was shackled. Then, after his opponent reminded him of the sideways rule, he played Nxe5, and the opponent grabbed the queen without thinking twice.
Monopoly
Endgame Monopoly is stressful. But not stressful enough. Add some pain with the housing crisis and the post-jail sentence.
Pantry houses
When Monopoly Bank runs out of money, you are allowed to earn more or keep track of the money in the ledger. But when you run out of houses, that’s all – no one else can build. Accommodation should be limited by rules .
So when you run out of houses, build as many as possible and don’t turn them into hotels. When they run out, your opponents won’t be able to buy more houses – and no matter how much money they have, they can’t go straight to hotels, because technically hotels can only be built on lots where there are already houses.
Buy up seats after jail
According to this Monopoly heatmap, players are more likely to end up in the row of squares next to the prison square. So buy those magenta and oranges.
While prison isn’t the only factor in which real estate is most lucrative , this strategy is easy to remember and hits opponents when they fall – right after they’ve paid the fine to leave, or after they’ve been stuck there on purpose. so as not to pay rent, and missed the opportunity to buy real estate.
Settlers of Katana
Katan provides many opportunities to punish your fellow players, whether it is stealing their resources with the help of a robber or blocking their expansion expensively. But if you annoy your opponents too much, they can retaliate. Here are some impressive penis movements.
Block the road in the middle
You can cut off another player’s road with a settlement, splitting it into two smaller roads and potentially disqualifying the Longest Road bonus. Despite the fact that this is stipulated by the rules, players regularly ask about it in the / r / catan subreddit .
Increase your monopoly
Before playing a Monopoly card and taking all a specific resource, exchange some of that resource, as you are going to get it all back.
If you’re not sure who has what resources, just ask . Just imagine you are offering an exchange: “Are there bricks for wheat?” And when they say yes, play your Monopoly card and take their brick. If they didn’t lie.
Make a burglar account
If you can, use the robber against the player to your right . If you enter a hex that only they benefit from, the robber will sit there from all sides. When it is their turn at last, if they take revenge, you can react immediately.
Build your strategy to eavesdrop on enemies
Follow the developer strategy in this Catan Guide to Instructables . Focus on development cards, throw a robber at your opponents and look weak despite slowly growing in strength. Don’t worry about collecting wood or bricks.
Risk
If Monopoly is too relaxing, try the assiduous Risk campaign. It’s strategy enough to upset newbies, but chances are enough to annoy good players trying to finally end the damn game. As with Monopoly, your game ends with either a slow march to death or an unsatisfactory surrender.
Trick towards an ally
You should not immediately build up your forces on the border, which is in front of your next goal. First, sit next to someone you might intimidate but don’t really want to intrude. Then make a deal with them and move your armies to ambush the real enemy. If you play correctly, you will be two steps ahead: your enemy will not be ready for you, and your new ally will owe you something just for what you have already secretly planned to do.
Make others do your dirty work
Capturing an entire continent provides a hefty bonus, but only if the player retains it for the entire round. Ideally, the other player should break this hold right before the player’s next move . But you do not want to be that player – you will have to invest resources in the fight, and the other player will definitely answer.
Instead, you need to instill in your playmates the importance of ending the continental monopoly. Avoid getting close to this continent so you have a reason not to help. Promise to help whoever breaks the monopoly. Anything to make them spend their resources instead of your own – and preserve the possibility of a future truce with your enemy.
Surrender Australia
Australia is easiest to capture early in the game, but it is very difficult to expand from it and its bonuses are pitiful. If you can grab some of Australia early on and pretend you care about it, you can “give it away” in exchange for something more valuable. Be careful, this requires careful negotiation and other seasoned players won’t fall for it.
Connect four
Connect Four, like tic-tac-toe, is mathematically “solved”. Just remember the winning moves:
Nice cock movement games
If you want the game to be based entirely on tricky strategies, try some of them:
- Diplomacy is the mother of all backstab board games. Players start out with three pieces to maneuver, and no player can win without random help. Much of the gameplay is directly related to negotiating with other players, forming alliances, threatening and obfuscating, and ultimately backstabbing.
- The collectible card game Magic: The Gathering is full of moves in which the power of your opponents is used against them. It’s the same with the Dominion deck-building card game.
- Werewolf party game is all about lying or manipulating other players. But if you get tired of it sooner than the rest of the group, you might have more fun trolling everyone by pretending to be acting in good faith. Give in to obvious lies; continue the mad rant of game theory. See how stupid you can pretend to be before someone discovers that you are just jerking him.