Rethink the Rewards by Teaching Kids How to Behave
Each parent offered incentives: “If you are patient while I change tires, we will get ice cream later.” Or, “If you’re good at playing with your cousin, you can use your iPad before dinner.” The teachers certainly used behavioral rewards to get rid of the extra time – a candy or small obedience toy was definitely an SOP when I was a kid.
But offering incentives isn’t necessarily the best way to build character and motivation, says Linda Flanagan in her Mind / Shift article: “A significant body of social science research from decades ago concluded that rewarding certain types of behavior are not only useless, but also harmful. “
She discusses Daniel Pink’s book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us , noting that he “identifies seven disadvantages of external rewards: they undermine intrinsic motivation, limit productivity, inhibit creativity, suppress good behavior, promote deception, can be addictive. , and stimulate short-term thinking. Pink writes that awarding prizes for mundane and meaningless tasks can be moderately effective. But offering rewards for tasks that are “intrinsically interesting, creative, or noble … is a very dangerous game.”
She goes on to describe a school that used to offer “external” or external motives for behavior — rubber bracelets and public gatherings that encouraged good behavior — but has since changed that system to community development that emphasizes respect, responsibility, and work ethic. …
Now, it doesn’t seem like no praise is ever offered – the headmaster says she pulls the kids aside and tells them she appreciates their good efforts – but the dog and pony show with intricate rewards is over. The principal reports that the school has undergone dramatic changes, especially in the way the children began to help each other in their studies. Another interesting point: this particular school is for a highly specialized population, and in fact, the students who did the best with the new system were children with the highest emotional needs.
I’m working on my master’s degree in a special edition (and I’m not done yet, so take it with a grain of salt), but a lot of what we learn is modeling and teaching kids self-control and behaviors. who is struggling with these skills. This is partly why I do not like the reward of candy or toys for good behavior: for some children, for one reason or another, being good … is very easy. For others, for one reason or another, this is a huge problem. So for the accommodating Suzie to stuff her Fort Knox of Snickers while the destructive Timmy gets c-ck (or punishment) again, it seems counterproductive: Suzie is rewarded for not being so hard for her, but Timmy is not. ‘ ‘. • Receive instructions and simulations on how to be a productive, respectful, intrinsically motivated member of the community.
This is why I like the current model of ICT classes, in which children who are “models of behavior” are accommodated with children for whom correct social behavior is a problem. There is a strong emphasis on teamwork and respect, and teachers provide additional support for children who need it. The awards make the community competitive: Suzie gets Snickers; Timmy doesn’t know; Joe gets the opportunity to list the Citizen Model Award on her Harvard application, and Mary gets a bupkus. It turns what should be a community into a zero-sum game.
Flanagan’s story is mostly about teachers, not parents, but obviously there is a lot in common. If we give screen time to participate in family activities or visiting relatives, we are not teaching our children that participation in household chores is necessary and that spending time with Aunt Linda is valuable – we are teaching them that these tasks are a hoop. which you need to jump over to have fun. And part of the job of teachers and parents is not only to negotiate compliance, but also to teach children how to manage their daily activities – even if they are tedious or unpleasant – as easily and fun as possible. Several child development experts I interviewed for tales of discipline and picky eating emphasize the idea of family culture : “We behave respectfully in our home” (and don’t hit and say ” fu” at the dinner table, or what you have ).
Does this mean that no one has ever had a treat? Of course not. The teachers at my kids’ school plan ice cream parties and the like, but to celebrate good work, not reward it. And they, like the leader above, try to discreetly recognize when children are good at something that is difficult for them.