Spend Time in Front of Your Home to Build Strong Neighborhood Bonds
“When will people come?” my four-year-old daughter asked me as we stared out onto the empty street. We sat in rocking chairs in the driveway. I felt ridiculous.
“I don’t know if anyone is coming,” I told her. “But we can play here.”
Welcome to Retro Week , where we light up the flux condenser and introduce you to the 1950s know-how of everything from making casseroles to building fallout shelters to joys for kids to relax and play with trash.
Earlier this year, I read about the People in the Yard movement, which aims to bring back the days when neighbors lived in front of their homes rather than behind closed doors. It all started with a woman named Christine Schell, a housekeeper who felt a little isolated in her Austin neighborhood, so she set up a turquoise picnic table on the front lawn, brought a cup of coffee and her laptop, and waited for someone to come by. chat. They did it, one neighbor after another. The table became a meeting place (“sort of like an old village well,” she writes), inspiring her to write a book about the experience called The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Backyard .
The idea seemed great. Since becoming a parent, I have become less mobile and have less time left. Friends are scattered in different cities – we try to meet when we can, but this requires a chain of transfers, searching for a three-hour block in the Google calendar and driving through traffic jams. I hate traffic. I have thought all along that we need people here, where we are, where our lives can merge with minimal effort, where our children can feel safe and at home. But it was so quiet in our area. I missed the old village well. I wanted to be a front garden.
I told my husband and daughter that we were going to hang out in the front yard one evening and meet with the neighbors, but I put off the mission for a while. I realized that in the few hours between the end of the working day and putting the child to bed, I was exhausted. I take off my bra, relax and feel no Ned Flanders chirping in me. I’m glad to see friends, but we need to be able to relax together. Meeting new people seemed difficult. Shell admits that this is the case. She says that starting a project can feel like you’re back in high school when you anxiously ask, “Will someone come to my party? Will they like me? “And yet the beauty of working in the front yard is that you don’t have to“ accept ”anything or invite people (gasp) into your home. You just do what you usually do at home, at the table in the yard (or where people gather, for example, on the roof of the apartment) – you have lunch, do your homework, write, have a glass of wine.
So finally we did it. Yesterday after work I asked my husband to help me move our picnic table from the backyard to the front, but it was too heavy to go through the gate (great planning, me). So we brought four rocking chairs and a bedside table and set them up in the driveway. I remembered that Shell would suggest a reason to stop — sometimes she would bring a carafe for coffee, a bowl of fresh water for the dogs and some games, sidewalk chalk, and puzzles for the kids. I tried to think quickly and then ran inside and put the popsicles in the ice cooler. I also applied lip gloss and deodorant.
And then my husband and daughter and I sat on chairs and ate turkey sandwiches. And we waited and waited. Several cars rushed past us. It’s the same with the headphone runner. Nobody was looking in our direction.
“So … how long should we be here?” my husband asked.
“Before bathing,” I said. It was two and a half hours away.
“I think your popsicles will melt,” he replied.
My daughter was nervous. “Have you written to anyone?” she asked.
“Hmm, I have to,” I said. I sent a message to several neighbors with children I knew, but they replied that they had soccer practice and other activities. I thought.
Just live life , I told myself. I brought some toys for my daughter to play with, and we played. We sat with a bucket of water and watched the little spongy dinosaurs hatch from their capsules. She sang songs from Disney princesses. My husband and I drank wine. A man with two dogs walked by us and said: “Hello! Beautiful evening! “We waved and said,” That’s right! ” Whether we forged strong bonds of neighborhood or not, we did.
When it got dark and we were about to pack up and go inside, we heard a family pass by. These were our neighbors, whom we had not seen for a long time. “Hi guys!” I yelped with too much excitement. I told them about my little social experiment and offered the kids popsicles (which was a little melted, but still in tact – phew ). They stayed a little while and we chatted. Then they asked if we wanted to walk around the block. We have done! The children got on the scooters and we lit our flashlights. We talked about work and life and screamed when the kids nearly turned the dead mouse over. It was fun and enjoyable to end the day, and it wouldn’t have happened if we weren’t there. Maybe this is the beginning.
I began to look longingly at the dried grass in front of our house. There might be a nice standing table there.
Shell offers some tips on how to become a front yard worker:
Consider the weather and the elements. Some days and seasons are closed, so plan ahead based on the weather. If possible, place the table in the shade and have a basket of sunscreen and insect spray ready.
If you’re just starting out, advertise. Shell recommends that your friends and neighbors know you are there by hosting an event. You can advertise on NextDoor.com or even make flyers.
Hang out there regularly. Take business with you, but do not work on something where you need complete concentration. This is where you want to be interrupted.