What to Say to Children Instead of “Be Careful”
I tell my four-year-old daughter “be careful” so often that I have abbreviated it to “take care.” It became an instinctive tick. [ She’s about to get out of the bath. ] “Caref”. [ She swims near the pool wall. ] “Caref”. [ Her knee is really close to her cousin’s face. ] “Caref”. [ She walks into a clothing store .] “Caref!”
While I would like to think that my warnings are causing her to reflect on her current course of action, this is probably not the case. “‘Be careful!’ can mean so much, but without specific details it can also be meaningless, “writes Petra Epergezi of the Canada Alliance for Children and Nature .” And when we hear something over and over again, we all start to black out, right? “
Words can even destroy. Caroline Paul, who gave an amazing TED Talk about raising brave girls , writes, “Be careful!” falls under the ” cunning language of fear .” According to a study published in The Journal of Pediatric Psychology, parents are “four times more likely to advise girls than boys to be more careful” after injuries that Paul notes may prevent them from attempting physical activities outside of their comfort zone. future.
The kids really need advice, but the reminders should be specific to the situation. My daughter’s preschool teacher, who is wise and has looked after many children in the playground, often tells the children to “remember.” Remember that stones are heavy. Remember there are friends below you as you throw sand off the slide. Remember sticks can be sharp. I love it.
Eperjesi provides a list of Be Careful alternatives when it comes to outdoor play. Here are some of them that can be used in any situation:
- “Focus on what you are doing.”
- “What’s your next step?”
- “Do you feel safe there?”
- “Do not rush.”
- “Does this branch seem strong and resilient?”
- I’m here if you need me.
- “When you run, find a safe place for your stick.”
- “Beware of other people and give them plenty of space.”
- “Let’s move to this less traffic area.”
- “The sticks need space. Sarah, look around – do you have enough room to swing that big stick? “
- “Please keep one end of the stick on the ground!”
- “What’s your plan with this big stick?”
- “Rocks need a place!”
- Find more space!
- “What do you need to look for before throwing this stone?”
- “This stone looks really heavy! Can you handle it? “
- “Please move slowly and carefully near ___.”
- “Please give each other plenty of room so that no one feels like they need to be pushed and that no one accidentally falls.”
- “Do you feel stable / balanced?”
- “Do you need more space?”
- “Make eye contact before grabbing someone. Make sure they know what you are going so they can prepare their body. “
- “Meet each other. Make sure everyone is still having a good time. “
- “Ask her if she’s okay.”
- “Ask him if he’s still having fun.”
- “You like it? Be sure to tell her if you don’t like it. “
- “If you need to run, meet me at the next trail marker!”
- “Let’s check this cave / fort to make sure it’s safe to hide in.”