Do You Have a Birth Plan, but Is There a Postpartum Plan?
It is understandable that pregnant women focus their planning on impending labor: whether they will have a caesarean section or a vaginal birth, at home or in the hospital, soft jazz or full of screaming shit. You may have even put together a detailed “birth plan” with instructions for using pain relievers, lighting settings, and a plan for videos, photos, and cutting the umbilical cord.
But one thing that is often overlooked in the excitement of giving birth is the postpartum plan: how are you going to get through what’s called the “fourth trimester,” or three months after your baby is born.
If you’re a first-time parent, just thinking about preparing for a newborn can be difficult: Newborn checklists can be so complex that you might just forget about your own needs during the postpartum period. It gets a little easier if it’s your second, third, or even more kids – at least you know what to expect – but of course the older kids add logistical challenges to the mix.
Fortunately, postpartum doulas who are trained to take care of the needs of new parents have made several empty postpartum plan templates available online. Here is one from DONA International, an organization that trains and certifies doulas. It includes important information such as what family, friends, and members of your community will be willing to come up to and support your child with so you can take a nap, who might want to bring food, who can help take care of older children, and soon.
There is also room to list “friends who have young children” because their support and advice will be invaluable. On the 10th day of my son’s life, I called a woman I knew little socially because she also had a baby and asked her to come over and hold our newborn while we were napping. She did it, and now we are good friends, but I would like to make a list of other friends. (PSA: Reason # 1 for attending maternity classes is to make friends who will have babies the same age as your baby.)
Here’s another blank postpartum plan with a slightly different layout and links to web resources such as the International Association of Breastfeeding Counselors . You can also ask the midwife for advice and collect suggestions from other young parents (especially those with relatively new children to keep their memories fresh, rather than “in my days, the children slept in a box”).
My own postpartum strategy with my second child was to freeze millions of meals, say yes to a suggested food train, and keep the babysitting list in the refrigerator. I would also advise thinking about how you will get to the postnatal newborn check-ups (I have found that this is not possible without help), and how you can go for a walk and have a little chat.
The child will have a lot of support – for example, you! But during this time, you also need to take care of yourself and your partner, and a little preparation – even if you’re just thinking about the things on the list, it can go a long way in easing your anxiety.