How to Embarrass Your Teenage Boy the Right Way
Oh, this boy. You gave him life, and now he writhes in agony every time you shake with her, as you lead him and his buddies to baseball practice. What gives?
Embarrassment is a classic dynamic between children and their parents, and you should know that this feeling can be healthy. In The Inspirers and the Winged Ones , a guide to the inner life of boys, author Rosalind Wiseman writes, “It’s more than okay to ’embarrass’ your son in a good way. For example, you demand that he acknowledge your feelings, you show how to treat people with dignity when it is difficult, and how to show emotions in a healthy way, you speak respectfully when he prefers you to keep your opinion to yourself and you comfortable making a fool of yourself. “
Read: Keep lifting the roof in the minivan – you are building character. Can you hear that, Puddin ‘Pop?
However, Wiseman emphasizes that there is “good” embarrassment, and there is embarrassment that turns into harmful territory, behavior that can lead to teens and teens turning a blind eye to their parents. In the case of boys, the damage is easier to hide because, as Wiseman explains, by the time they reach adolescence, “most of them take on the appearance of calm detachment.”
Watching you embarrass your son can be startling at first (“Didn’t he ask me to kiss his little bitch yesterday ?”), But after a while the experience can become oddly enjoyable. However, it is important to test yourself to see if you are crossing the line. Here are some examples of good embarrassment and embarrassment that is not normal.
“Good” embarrassment
- Singing to the radio (or your favorite 90s gangsta rap album) in the car
- Hug or kiss him when you see him in public.
- Telling your friends a joke
- Hinting to him that you have had sex at some point in your life
- Loudly applauding and shouting his name from the stands
- Say phrases like “I can’t even” – even if he thinks it sounds like you’re trying too hard
- Accompanying his school dance
- Taking hair out of my eyes
- Asking him and his friends, “What are you all doing tonight?”
- Asking him questions about his life
An embarrassment that goes too far
- Introducing him for his flaws. Say something like, “This is Billy. He’s really shy, but he gets pretty funny when you get to know him better. ” As Wiseman writes, “After you teach him how to introduce himself, he must say his name and create his own image.”
- Spreading. “Can you recommend a face wash? Ashton is breaking out everywhere . ” If you want to talk to other adults, do it in private, away from your child. If parents are prone to over-communication, talk to your children about it. Wiseman suggests saying something like, “I realized that sometimes I speak for you and do not give you the opportunity to speak for yourself. From now on, I will really try to stop myself. But if I don’t, I want you to politely say, “Mom / Dad, it’s okay. I understand.’ I promise I’ll stop. If I cross, you can politely ask me to stop and I will. “
- Be rude or unkind towards other adults or children.
Basically, if your actions are dismissive or demeaning to your child, it’s time to rethink your behavior. But if you’re just a single parent, turn on the car radio and dance.