Dress up Your Child’s Fears to Make Them Less Scary
When young children say they are afraid of monsters – and they know that teraphobia is an almost universal fear among preschoolers – you should n’t dismiss their horror by saying things like, “They’re not real. You are imagining things. Just don’t think about it. ” Instead, help them use their vivid imaginations for empowerment.
For some parents, this means making a “monster spray” – taking a spray bottle and performing a nightly ritual of sprinkling the toilet, under the bed, behind curtains, wherever the creatures hide. Powders disappearing with monsters, swords and swords can also be effective weapons. Other parents dress their kids in monster pajamas (because monsters are, of course, afraid of other monsters).
One solution that I really like is to let the child “dress up” the monster in his head. For example, putting outrageous clothes on him. Hillary Frank, host of the podcast The Longest Shortest Time, included this mom idea on her list of parenting victories .
“My elder (6) has a vivid imagination and cannot get the scary image out of his head. We lay together in his bed, trying to get him to sleep. I asked if he could describe the image to me. He started, but was scared again. The most I could collect was some kind of cartoon monster that made a strange sound in a short episode.
“We talked about how to make it less scary. We try too often not to think about it, but it just makes us think about it more. So, we started dressing it up. He offered a baby cap and a pacifier. Then he added an exploded swim donut and clown shoes. He was soon giggling over Minion’s underwear and many bracelets. We talked to a monster, and he said: “Hey, monster, how do you like these bananas on your head ?!” and shot him in the arm like a magician. Instead of being afraid, he must take responsibility again. He still remembers that night, almost a year later, and we’ll add another fun piece of clothing or accessories. “
—Kelly, Winslow, Maine
This process allows the child to change their story by adding to it rather than ignoring it. Can’t we apply this lesson to all of our biggest fears? After all, everyone can sleep well, even the monster in the baby hat.