How to Argue With a Bored Denier
There was a time when Snopes was the Internet’s most trusted myth- breaker . No matter how silly, funny, or shocking you laugh, if someone posts a link to Snopes, the laughing stops. You were. Thank you, Snopes.
But things are different now. If your uncle is outraged by something on Facebook and you helpfully provide Snopes fact-checking showing that nothing like this has actually happened, you might be greeted with outright denial: oh, you believe what Snopes is saying. How cute.
Thus, as Jeff Houner writes in the Houston Press , getting to the Snopes denier needs to stay out of the way. The writers there are essentially journalists and researchers: they go to the original source of the rumors and do hell of a fact-checking. So you can look at Snopes’ sources – the text of the law, the original unedited video that has since been recorded in memory – and present them as relevant facts.
But here’s the thing. Changing sources isn’t enough to get in touch with your conspiracy theorist uncle. You are simply posting one link instead of the other. So here is the process that Hauner suggests. The hardest part is that when you first come across whether or not Snopes is an authoritative source, you should give up the arguments and walk away.
He is your uncle. You will see him again.
The next time he spews irrefutable nonsense, take a different approach. Tell him what you think and why this is for you personally. Don’t treat this as a discussion that you have to win right now; you just share your thoughts and hopefully plant the seeds of ideas that will bloom over time. This is how Hauner works:
The information should be concise. Three sentences should be the absolute maximum. A realistic worldview is a bitter pill that sometimes needs to be swallowed, and it is always best to take it slowly. Don’t give them a wall of text to pick on small tangents at will. You are a rapier, not a war hammer.
I also find it helpful to be extremely self-deprecating. Point out that you are not entirely sure about everything (who after all), and always make it personal. This is what I read. I think so. It is very easy to dismiss the words of the faceless media, large corporations and politicians. In any case, for a limited circle, they are not real people. It’s harder to do this with someone you know.
If you are slowly helping a person change their worldview, that is more valuable to the world than “winning” one argument. Many of us have a racist uncle or a conspiratorial colleague, and helping them become more empathetic and intelligent people is a job that starts at home. You have the opportunity here. Don’t blow it up.