Sunday Rumble: Soylent Vs. Chirios
While there are many quick breakfasts – buttered toast, muesli bars, bananas – cereals predominate. But a new contender has emerged in the rankings: Soylent, a nutritional suspension aimed at busy millennials. Both are convenient, but neither is natural. Which option is better on a rush morning?
Applicants
Cheerios Bowl: Normcore Flakes. Processed oats, fortified with 10-25% of essential nutrients , plus 1 gram of sugar. Made for small hands. Cheerios is the default cereal, the most popular brand of choice for all Americans.
Soylent bottle: SlimFast for nerds. Soy milk is fortified with 20% of the RDA for all essential nutrients, plus 9 grams of sugar. Soylent is a best-in-class meal replacement product and its marketing demonstrates an atmosphere of scientific experimentation.
Cheerios: As Real As Fake Food
Cheerios feels like an old American reserve in that normal Rockwell style. Like most of the old American backup systems, they were invented during World War II. The original variety appeared in 1941, followed by Honey Nut Cheerios (most popular due to its 9 grams of sugar ) in 1979.
Cheerios seems natural because you’ve eaten them since childhood, but you know they have less sugar than almost everything except cornflakes and wobbly ones for adults. General Mills is promoting the health food narrative by claiming that Cheerios lowers cholesterol, which caused it to have problems with the FDA in 2009 .
Regular Cheerios are made from whole grains, low in sugar and non-GMO, which is a relatively healthy option among grains. But it’s still processed starch with added vitamins. Food writer Michael Pollan says , “Few, if any, sane people eating breakfast would make Cheerios a frequent choice.”
However, this is not scary for you, and it is extremely convenient: the only preparatory work is to throw it in the bowl along with the milk. Meal times are pretty fast, but you need to stay still. And with milk, it costs less than 50 cents a bowl.
Soylent: convenience for a price
Soylent’s name, packaging, and origin story seem calculated to embarrass you for drinking this versatile meal replacement in public. It’s a shame because public consumption is the best thing about this drink.
While Soylent is marketed as a supplement to a real food diet, it is formulated in a way that, in theory, could replace all of your meals. Each bottle contains a fifth of all the nutrients you need. Even though this is an inadequate and depressing dinner, it is well suited for breakfast, especially on the road. It’s about the size of a water bottle and just as easy to drink on the go.
The taste is pretty good as long as you cool it down with soy milk. In essence, this is what it is in a chemical sense. It is not organic, it contains the same sugar as Cheerios Honey Nut and contains GMOs and natural and artificial flavors. So even compared to processed grains packed with vitamins, this isn’t hippie food. (Five other flavors have the same sugar content, and three contain caffeine.)
Most importantly, you pay quite a lot for this convenience: $ 2.69 a bottle ($ 3.09 for all non-original varieties) shipped in dozens. It’s still cheaper than most in-store breakfasts, but if you have time to eat at home, Soylent is a pretty hefty choice.
Verdict: Cheerios for your good days, Soylent for your bad days
If you haven’t optimized your life until the second, Soylent simply isn’t worth the five minutes you save by eating a bowl of cereal, especially if you’ve already been spending some time with coffee or tea every morning.
But on those casual morning hours when you’re really behind, it’s nice to grab a bottle and walk out the door knowing you won’t pass out until lunchtime. The shame of drinking from this scientific laboratory bottle will feel like a punishment for not taking the time to eat a full breakfast. As Cookie Monster sang,Soylent is sometimes food .