A Detailed Guide to Ordering Eggs at the Diner
“How do you want your balls?” This is not a question that should make you panic, but it is possible that you are not overthinking all of your options, especially if everything you have ever known is jumbled up.
I grew up with a stepfather who was obsessed with lousy diners, and as a result, I ate a lot of breakfast with greasy spoons. This man, for lack of a better word, a complete dick about ordering eggs, I saw him send eggs back to Danny on more than one occasion but he taught me what a poached egg was, so I think it’s something …
Anyway. I believe there are many different ways to order an egg. According to culinary tradition, there are as many ways to cook an egg as there are folds on a chef’s hat (there will be 100 of them). While it is unlikely that you will end up in a diner that could have all 100 dishes prepared, you still have a lot of options when you go out for breakfast. (They say, this is by no means a list of all the ways you can cook eggs, but a list of how you can order them. Cooking at home gives you much more room for creativity. Case in point : cloud eggs .)
- Hard Scrambled: The whites and yolks are broken and mixed and everything is cooked completely. These eggs will be drier but should still be fluffy.
- Soft Chatterbox: Like hard eggs, the yolk and whites are whisked together, but these eggs will be wetter than their harder counterparts and have creamier, softer, and less curd.
- Sunny Side Up: This is your iconic emoji-style fried egg. The egg is cracked right in the skillet and fried until the white is solid but the yolk is still runny and the edges are (usually) browned.
- Basted: Like our sunny friend, this egg does not turn over, but is poured with hot oil from a frying pan until the top white is cooked and the yolk is hard. This drug is not as common as some of the others, so have a spare egg ready in case your waitress has never heard of it.
- Quite simply, this egg is also fried, but it turns over when you get to the “sunny side up” stage. After the flip, however, it doesn’t spend too much time in the pan and cooks long enough for the protein to form a film on the yolk while keeping that golden ball as liquid as possible.
- Medium: This egg cooks in the same way as the lighter one, only takes longer to cook. The white film will be thicker and the yolk, although runny, will be slightly more frozen.
- Too Hard: Cooked even longer than indicated above and the white and yolk are completely frozen in this egg.
- Poached: Poached eggs are chopped in a saucepan of boiling water, where they remain until the whites are fried, but the yolks are beautiful and runny. Unlike frying, this method produces softer proteins without crispy edges. (You can also order “medium” or “hard” poached eggs if you like, but I don’t know why you would. This warm but runny yolk will do just fine.)
- Baked or Crimped: You probably won’t be able to order baked eggs as part of your main breakfast, but if you see them on the menu, you should stir them up. Baked eggs are usually mixed with other ingredients in a mold or other flat-bottomed container and then placed in the oven until, you guessed it, the whites are solid but the yolks are runny.
- Omelettes: American omelets are made with a few eggs, leaving them in a skillet until they solidify, then folding them in half around some kind of filling. French omelet is usually not stuffed, but rolled into a fluffy delicate oval. Omelettes are usually listed as individual items on the menu rather than as part of a “traditional” American breakfast.
- Frittata: Frittata is an omelet-like preparation where scrambled eggs are mixed with other ingredients (meat, vegetables, cheese, etc.), Partially cooked in a skillet and then placed in the oven to complete the fried cooking. There is no rolling or folding. If a diner offers frittats, they will most likely have their own section on the menu.
- Hard Boiled: I’ve never seen anyone order a hard boiled egg at the diner, but I think you could. Whole eggs, with their shells intact, are dipped – well, put – in pots of boiling water, where they remain until both the white and yolk are completely cooked and firm.
- Soft Boiled: These eggs are cooked like hard boiled, only they take less time to cook . Once again, you get hard white and runny yolk. Some countries eat them out of small cups .
- Delicate: The eggs are carefully steamed in small special cups or jars of cream. The longer you steam them, the harder they become. I’ve never seen eggs in a diner, so let me know if you do.
And one final tip: under no circumstances order the abomination known as the “egg white omelet”. You will not find joy within.