How to Recuperate When Your Kids Are Spending All Your Energy
Making time for yourself as a parent is more difficult than most people think. Even if you have a well-mannered child, there is always something that they want to tell you, show or ask you to play with. Here’s how to find time for yourself.
Not all of these strategies will work for every parent and every child. We are human beings, some methods will be helpful for your child, and some simply will not work for you or for them, or may only work part of the time. Try the ones that you think might work and add the ones that stay in your toolbox so you can pull them out anytime you need a few minutes to recharge.
Choose your support network
Whether it’s your partner, family, or friends, using the support network you’ve created for yourself is key to being alone and focusing on your needs. Don’t feel guilty , overcharging is what you deserve and what will make you a better parent.
- Break at the end of the day : If you spend most of the day with your child, or even if you pick him up from kindergarten and study for the first few hours of the evening, take a break when your partner is entertaining you. baby, so you can stay for one or two hours. To make this even more effective, you or your partner and child should leave the house to make room. You can also use this on weekends if one of you has your baby in your arms for most of the day.
- Dates of games. Schedule dates for your child when the other parent is looking after him. If you have a couple of kids, try to arrange their play dates so that they come on the same day so you have time for yourself. Of course, you also have to reciprocate on the dates of the games.
- Weekend Morning Compromise : You and your partner split the weekend morning so each of you takes over the morning, giving the other parent some precious “time for yourself.”
- Weekly Visits : Schedule a weekly visit with a family member or close friend your child will look forward to. This is a special time for bonding between your child and a family member or friend. Not everyone will want to do this, but you may have a friend who takes on the role of “aunt” or “uncle.”
Schedule a daily quiet time
Most kids thrive when they know what to expect from their day, so incorporating quiet times into their schedule helps you make time consistently and they learn to play on their own. Quiet time can take several forms:
- Snooze : If your child is still napping, this is the perfect time to sit back and relax. If they start waking from sleep, turn them into quiet times as they read, draw, or play with toys in their bed.
- Supervised quiet play : Your child plays by itself while you read or do something else to recharge. This may require some light reinforcement, such as “I’ll read right now while you play.”
- Independent Quiet Play : Your child plays on his own away from you to give you literally peace and quiet. It may also require some training and light reinforcement for your child to stay in their room or not enter your room until the timer goes off. If you are lucky, your child will get carried away with their work and will devote more time to you than planned. You will want to set some rules here for when they can interrupt you during this time, for example if someone is bleeding or something breaks.
- Communication between shows . In Susan Kane’s The Quiet Revolution, they propose turning television viewing into a quiet time to socialize. This removes the need for you to entertain your child.
Rebuild your mornings and nights
Depending on when your child wakes up (and how an early riser you are), getting up even 20 minutes before everyone else gives you time to set the tone for the rest of the day. Having a functional morning routine for your kids (and yourself!) Can also go a long way in making the morning less stressful and possibly even saving time.
Likewise, use your evenings and nights after your kids go to bed. Talk to your partner, call a friend to catch up, or just enjoy some messing around. In fact, you probably use your evenings to do chores, get ready for the next day, or catch up on work, but setting aside even half an hour can make a big difference.
Develop strategies for short breaks
Sometimes you need a few minutes for yourself and you can’t always plan when this will happen. With a couple of strategies that you can use, you can get through the moment when you are feeling overwhelmed.
- Explain to your child that you need to be alone : how redditor white_ajah shares , use language that leaves no room for negotiation, and clarify what you will do with your child. For example: “I’m going to lie down for ten minutes, and then we’ll read a book together.”
- Use limited screen time to catch their breath : If you don’t mind your child playing games or watching videos, use this time to keep him busy while you take a short break. You can limit them to one game round or one video if you want the screen time to be short.
- Teach your kids to play on their own properly : As mentioned above, when your child learns to play on their own, they can do it without prompting. Use this to your advantage by taking some time for yourself and letting them know that they can come and find you if they need anything.
Parents make a lot of sacrifices for their families, but you also need to make time for yourself to be at your best. Adding a few of these techniques to your routine will help you with this.