It’s Okay to Refuse a Wedding Invitation.
You don’t have to give up every wedding invitation , says Dante Jordan at The Awl. And while Jordan is aimed at people who want to say no to every wedding, it’s also good advice for those of us who like to occasionally watch two friends confess their love and then have dinner.
There are many good reasons to not get married:
- It is too far.
- They are old friends, but you haven’t spoken for years.
- They are related, but you haven’t spoken for years.
Usually, people invite too many friends and family to their weddings because they are afraid to look like losers, even if they are happier when surrounded only by loved ones. By saying no, you are doing them a favor. You don’t even need to send a gift; they won’t remember that someone they didn’t see at the wedding didn’t give them a throw pillow.
When planning my own wedding, I was slightly disappointed that several friends from other cities refused. But I wasn’t angry because I’m not an asshole. I never stopped communicating with them. I was glad for the sign that this was normal behavior; I’ve already missed the weddings of two friends (both since divorced) and two cousins (still not sure if I’ve ever met their partners).
Just submit your regrets in time and pretend you are devastated by missing this world-changing event. Don’t do what I did once when I was in my early twenties — say yes and don’t show up. It’s a miracle that these friends spoke to me again.