Cautionary Tales on Social Media That You Should Definitely Discuss With Your Kids
Well, the good news is that ten students have moved onto the Harvard waiting list for the 2021 course. Harvard Crimson said Sunday that the college recently dropped ten students for an upcoming freshman in the fall for posting “obscene memes.” Apparently, some members of the admitted class formed a Facebook group that posted images and memes poking fun at the Holocaust, sexual abuse, and child death (infant death targeted at certain ethnic groups, as if ordinary child death was not bad enough) were arrested for doing so. and … going somewhere other than Harvard to go to college.
Looks like they’re great kids, right? Leaders of men.
Stories of bad (racist, predatory, or criminal) behavior posted on social media have become commonplace. Those of us who like to think that we are decent people, who would never post a racist meme because we know racist memes are harmful, or who don’t joke about sexual assault because we genuinely empathize or empathize with the victims of sexual assault. attack, might think, “Well, these rotten kids got what they deserved.” (If only they were really punished for their behavior.)
But even if we have some pretty good kids, I think it will be instructive to talk to our teens about these horrific events that are breaking out on social media – rather than saying, “If you’re going to say something horrible, at least , do not speak”. don’t get caught, “but more in” These incidents are a good reminder that obviously ordinary children can do terrible things, “and teens should be vigilant to intervene – or at least get rid of – ugly, dangerous, or the silly situations their friends might create. And they should feel responsible for reaching out to parents, school officials, or law enforcement if the situation calls for it.
Below are a few high-profile recent incidents that can be enlightening to children about peer pressure, humiliation and social media opportunities.
Brotherhood of the University of Oklahoma
In 2015, members of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon branch at the University of Oklahoma were expelled after being caught on video singing a song that used the word “n”, mentioning lynching, and chanting that the fraternity would never accept black members. Incredibly, the 79-year-old “home mother” of the fraternity was also filmed singing along with the rap song and repeating racial slurs. All parties seeking forgiveness insisted that they were not racist. Yeah.
This is a good time to talk to your children (if they are white) about the dangers of racist speech and the importance of not joining clubs or even talking to people who think insults are funny and knowing that you will never be so developed. that racial slurs can be used casually and ironically (which I find sometimes defensive).
Tyler Clementi
Sadly, there have been quite a few suicides following social media bullying. Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, jumped off the George Washington Bridge in 2010 after his roommate and roommate friend watched and tweeted about his sexual encounter with another man. What is the cautionary tale here? The roommate, Dharun Ravi, seems like a typical bully and homophobe. But Ravi wasn’t the only one involved: other students watched Clementi meet, and when Ravi tweeted, none of his friends or followers described him as behavior. It’s one thing to be the victim of a lone bully; another is to feel that no one in the community has the decency to challenge this bully.
There are likely many factors that led to Clementi’s suicide, and of course his roommate was the main protagonist in the bullying, but the coverage of the case noted how many other beat players were in this drama – people who knew what is happening, and did not hide. Don’t call on your roommate to broadcast Clementi’s sex life, and don’t interfere in any way to protect him.
If you want to talk to your children about how to behave in these situations, show them the example of R.A. Clementi, who knew the shitty situation when he saw it and offered support and advice.
Harvard men’s soccer team
Harvard again; you might think that such smart children know better. In 2012, the team published an “Intelligence Report” on the Google Group in which women were assessed for their physical appearance and assigned hypothetical sex positions. Harvard appointed its own team of lawyers – they must be busy – to handle the case, and lawyers found the practice continued in 2016. This is a tradition! In 2016, the school canceled the men’s soccer season.
This is interesting and instructive for the children, not so much for the decision of the administration (and the refusal of the male team to cooperate in the investigation), but for the letter that the members of the female team published in response . While you are talking to your kids about structural sexism (and sexual racism in the case of the University of Oklahoma), you can also talk about what it takes to actually dismantle these structures.
The women wrote:
[We] are disappointed that this is a reality that all women have faced in the past and will face throughout their lives …. We are worried about the future because we know that this is the only way we can truly escape past. this culture is for the very people who create it to stop it.
In other words, it’s not enough for the “good” guys not to be on the team — they also need to speak out against this behavior when they see it. This is a good opportunity to talk about allies or how people outside of marginalized groups can confront injustice when they see it.
Teen sex scandals
This kind of nude photo scandals, again, are quite numerous. Take three high school students in Newtown, Connecticut who have been charged with possession and distribution of child pornography and other crimes. While the three boys were the only three children accused of the scandal (presumably because they allegedly sold photographs and videos), more than 50 students were involved in the exchange of explicit images, and 20 of them were sent to a community organization. Juvenile Supervision Council.
The school principal said she was not sure the students were particularly well aware of the consequences of their actions. Twenty years ago, a girl stripping with her boyfriend might later regret it, but at least there was no digital evidence; currently the unfortunate incident continues and may grow as images are transferred from phone to phone.
This is a pretty straightforward conversation with children: don’t take photos of yourself candidly. Do not explicitly photograph anyone. And if someone sends you one, let your parents or teacher know. Your classmates don’t deserve to have their private photos sent to anyone with a phone.
Teens often refer to this behavior as “drama” rather than “bullying” because, at least in the beginning, it means that no one is a victim or a perpetrator, and drama encompasses a wider range of bad and bad behavior than simple deliberate prosecution of bullying. So your kids may be more inclined to discuss these topics in these settings.
But the bottom line when you talk to your kids about all of these bad social media behaviors is essentially the same: you don’t want to get involved in any kind of drama. If things are not going well and you can do it safely, you need to intervene or alert the authorities. Ask yourself: Will this drama be on the front page of the New York Times ? And do I want to be known as the guy who put an end to this, or the guy who just lost his place at Harvard?