Here’s How Much Sex Everyone Has

We start Sex Ed for Adults by checking the reality of what’s normal in terms of sex. Take a moment to think about when you first had sex, how much sex you have, and whether you think other people have more or less sex than you do. Chances are, you are more normal than you think.

First of all, before you start to feel uncomfortable, no matter how long you have had sex, it’s okay . We’re not here to judge. And to the young people reading this: you’re not a bad person if you’ve already done it, and you’re not a prude or a curse if you don’t take your pants off until the next stage in your life. We will soon see that there is a huge range of normal.

However, if you have a lot of unprotected sex and are at risk of STDs or pregnancy, then the problem is the lack of protection, not the amount of sex. And if you’re not happy with the relationship you are in, the amount of sex may be a factor, but don’t judge yourself (or your partner) on that basis alone. You need to look at this relationship as a whole. Are you happy? Why or why not?

Where does this data come from?

Anyway. Let’s go back to comparing ourselves to others. This is difficult because you can ask people in surveys, but how do you know if they are telling the truth? One of the best sources of information for us is the National Family Growth Survey , conducted by the US government’s National Center for Health Statistics, to get answers to all questions related to sex and reproductive health. They divide the country into units based on census blocks, select households in those blocks, and interview one person from each household (if they are between 15 and 44 years old and agree to the interview) and ask them a lot of questions. personal questions.

You can see the profile here . The interviewer comes to the person’s home and asks him questions for the first part of the interview; then they pass their laptop and leave the room while the respondent answers all personal questions. These include when they first started having sex, whether they were raped, how many pregnancies they actually had, and more. These answers will never be read by a human; the computer blocks them so that the interviewer cannot see them. Here we get answers to the first few questions we ask today. You can view a more complete report here .

When do people start having sex?

About half of us have had sex (in particular, the penis in the vagina) by the age of 17 or so. Here’s a breakdown by age:

Thus, by the age of 15, 13 percent of women and 18 percent of men had vaginal sex. By age 19, these numbers are 68% and 69%. This means that if you lost your virginity as a teenager, you are in good company; but if you haven’t, a good 30 percent of Americans will be by your side.

How many sexual partners do adults have?

When we come of age, most people have some kind of sex. Among 20-24 year olds who do not have sex, only 16 percent are women and 18 percent are men. (For teens, that’s roughly half, which makes sense given the virginity stats above.)

Since we’re looking at adults today, let’s take a closer look at the 25-44 age group. People were asked who their sex partners were last year. This takes into account any type of sexual experience. Here’s what they said:

• No recent sex partners : 7 percent
• Any number of same-sex partners: 5 percent men, 11 percent women.
• One partner of the opposite sex (and no one partner of the same sex): 73 percent
• Multiple partners of the opposite sex (no partners of the same sex): 14 percent of men, 6 percent of women.

There was no direct question for people who had partners of both the opposite and the same sex, but about 2% did not answer in the affirmative to any of the above questions.

The survey also asked questions about partners of the opposite sex throughout life, and here it makes sense to look at the oldest age group: from 40 to 44 years old. (Think about it: 25-year-olds should have fewer partners for life than 40-year-olds, simply because they haven’t had such a long life yet.) The average number of opposite-sex partners is 3.4 for women and 6 , 4 for men. … This means that half of the respondents had more partners and half had fewer. Here’s the full breakdown:

• There are no partners of the opposite sex : women – 0.4%; men, 1.3%
• One partner of the opposite sex : women – 22 percent; men, 10 percent
• Three to six partners of the opposite sex : women – 40 percent; men, 30 percent
• Fifteen or more : women – 8 percent; men, 30 percent

If we look at what types of sex people say they’ve had, going back to the larger age group of 25 to 44, the numbers look like this:

• Any same-sex experience : women – 12%; men – 6 percent.
• Opposite sex : women and men, 98 percent.
• Vaginal intercourse : women – 98%; male, 97 percent
• Oral sex with a partner of the opposite sex : women – 89%; men, 90 percent
• Anal sex with a partner of the opposite sex : women – 36%; men, 44 percent

How often do people have sex?

According to General Social Survey, the average American adult has sex about 60 times a year , which is a little more than once a week. (This survey is conducted through face- to- face interviews .) If it’s not you, don’t despair: the people in this study who did not have sex in the past year were just as happy as the people who had sex.

The frequency of sexual intercourse varies throughout a person’s life. As we have seen, not all adolescents and young adults have sex, but by the time they reach their twenties and thirties, they have plenty of sex.

Despite many rumors about a “culture of communication,” young people in 2004–2012 did not have more sex than their peers in 1988–1996. However, they were less likely to maintain ongoing relationships with the people they slept with.

In old age, people have less sex. This is partly due to the fact that older people lose their partners and do not necessarily start dating again. But poor health or taking certain medications can also reduce people’s interest in sex. Here’s how the Journals of Gerontology study summarized the situation using data from two other surveys: the National Health and Social Life Survey and the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project.

Age 44-59:

• Sexually active: men – 88%; women – 72 percent.
• Sex per month (if more than zero): men – 7 times; women 6.5 times.

Age 57-72 years:

• Sexually active: men – 72%; women – 45 percent.
• Sex per month (if more than zero): men – 4.3 times; women – 3.8 times.

To take a different look at this question, the National Sexual Health and Behavior Survey asked what sexual acts they had in the past month, last year, and ever in their lives. This study was conducted over the Internet, but they selected a sample before contacting anyone with a link to the study. (This sets it apart from lazy internet polls where you never know who is viewing.) Here’s a summary of the data from the past year:

If we want to know how often people do this, the data for the last month will give us a better understanding. You can see the full results here . Let’s see what young people aged 25-29 said:

• Masturbation : 69 percent of men, 52 percent of women.
• Vaginal intercourse : 74 percent of men and women.
• By mouth from a woman : 46 percent of men, 5 percent of women.
• Orally given to a woman : 40 percent of men, 1.1 percent of women.
• Oral from a man : 1.2% of men, 36% of women.
• Gave it orally to a man : 2.7% of men, 50% of women.
• Received anal sex : 0.9% of men, 5.3% of women.
• Inserted their penis into the anus of another : 10 percent of men

For any of these actions, there are many people who do the same, and many who do not do the same; so don’t be ashamed to be in one category or another.

How do we know if people are telling the truth?

You are likely to tell a close friend different things about your sex story, not a random one. You might be more willing to be honest in an anonymous web survey, but then again, you’ll also be more likely to fool around for fun.

The National Family Growth Survey is adept with their confidential part of introspection, but the UK study found that people were more likely to admit certain things – high number of sexual partners, drug use – in a web survey than in a poll. done confidentially on the interviewer’s laptop.

If people are lying in these surveys, it will be difficult to find a more accurate source of information. Seth Stevens-Davidowitz sees a different picture of sexuality when he looks at Google search data: for example, he found that “asexual marriage” is one of the most popular searches related to marriage. There are many caveats with his data: we do not know who is searching and why. We have no idea how they compare to people who are not looking for these terms. But they are a good reminder that sexual behavior data should be treated with a grain of salt.

In the end, I searched for a lot of sex-related statistics when I researched this article and found something alarming in the results. When I searched for information on how often people should have sex, I found many articles, suggesting that I want to know how often people should have sex.

You have to have sex whenever you want. There is no shame in doing it a lot or a little! People in unhappy relationships are more likely to have sex less than once a week; but among happy couples, more sex won’t make you happier . And if you have sex less often, but you are completely satisfied with it, it is between you and your partner (s) – this is nobody’s business.

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