Maintain Relationships by Treating Them Like a Bank Account
Sharing your finances is a tricky topic in and of itself , but fortunately today we speak metaphorically. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, think of it as a bank account that requires regular, positive deposits to thrive.
As the art of masculinity advice site points out, while the comparison may seem transactional and awkward, the idea of a bank account relationship is striking for one very important reason: both need regular deposits to maintain. If you’ve ever lived paycheck to paycheck, you know the relief getting a paycheck brings, and how stressful it can be to pay when your account is empty. Your relationship works very similarly. To get a positive return, you need positive data:
If you are following Gottman’s research-based philosophy, such questions are not a problem; in fact, he would say that friction is a natural part of the yin and yang of life in general and relationships in particular, and that some negativity in marriage is actually beneficial.
So far, it is balanced by the positives.
Gottman actually formulated the exact ratio that this balance must be in order for a marriage to be stable and happy: 5: 1. A couple who have at least five times more positive interactions than negative ones will ultimately succeed.
Fortunately, you don’t need to negotiate with your boss or go to college to build positive communication. Just take the time to do something nice and gentle with your partner. Don’t wait until you feel elated to invest in your relationship. You wouldn’t want your company to wait until they are willing to pay you. You need regular salaries, just as you and your romantic partner need regular reminders of your love and appreciation for each other.
Why The Secret To A Happy, Successful Marriage Is To Treat It Like A Bank Account | The art of masculinity