The Most Effective Way to Say No Is to Say No, Not I Can’t.
This is not to say that learning to say no is a vital skill. This is important both personally and professionally , and once you learn how to do it without being a jerk , you have time to focus on what you need (and want) to do and not on other people’s priorities. Here’s a quick way to deal with it.
In short, the key is to stop thinking – and, if possible, talking – about things you “can’t” do, and instead think about things you “don’t”. For example, from the Science of Us article at the link below:
This observation is based on a 2012 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research that showed that how a statement was phrased affects how well people think they can stick to it. For example, the phrase “I don’t eat X” when tempted by an unhealthy snack made participants feel more “psychologically empowered” than using “cannot”. The same goes for the decision to train every day scenario: “I don’t miss a workout” was a stronger motivator for going to the gym than “I can’t miss a workout.”
In short, saying “cannot” gives you the opportunity to change course, either to put pressure on yourself or to pressure from others. So, while you may not be able to tell your boss, “I don’t make TPS reports,” you can say, “I don’t have time for TPS reports, given everything else I’m doing right now.” Likewise, this method works when you say no to yourself – which you should learn too . Instead of saying, “I can’t do what others ask, I will never have time for myself,” say, “I don’t say yes to what I don’t want – or I don’t have time – make. … “It’s more inspirational, more definitive, and even if you need a place to back off later, it leaves no room for discussion or reluctance, and gives you the control of your own time that you need .. Click on the links below to find out more. …
Here’s the Most Effective Way to Say No to What You Don’t Want to Do | Science learns about us to say “no” by using “I can’t” instead of “I can’t” | Mental thread