Children’s Guide by Age
Before I had children of my own, I always felt uncomfortable with young people in family gatherings. Of course, I wanted to play with someone’s child, or even learn how to keep him occupied if a friend needed me to look after their child, but I had no idea how. It turns out that the job is not difficult if you know some good icebreakers.
Age 0: tiny babies just want to see your face (or sleep in your arms)
If you have the opportunity to hold a very small one, do not overdo it. If your child seems sleepy or is oblivious to the world around him, just hug him. Her head can be resting on your shoulder. To get bonus points, offer some movement: walk around, or sit in a rocking chair, or rock it very gently, patting it on the butt.
If your child is awake, find a place on your lap or on the couch where she can look at you. Just talk or sing. Can’t think of what to say? Try a song with the alphabet. For added amusement, move your arms as you sing or flap your nose with yours.
Age 0-3: Older kids and toddlers love silly gags
For this age group, you will need to step up your game. They can see adults staring at them at any time. You need to be entertained . Sounds complicated? Not really:
- Put something on your head . It’s fun.
- Establish a stupid cause and effect. When I touch my toe, he hears “Braaap!” Yes, you will use your voice for sound effect.
- Stack things on top of each other. Blocks, if any, and household items, if not. Expect anything you fold to be knocked down instantly. This is half the fun.
- Swipe your fingers across the floor. Now your hand is a spider! It’s TICKLE SPIDER AAUUUGH NOW IT COMES FOR YOOOOU!
Now you’re not going to just get up and tickle every child you meet. They may fear you as a stranger, and that’s okay. Show them the tickling spider and use it to tickle yourself . The child can just watch, but sometimes he wants to take part: either tickle or tickle him. It’s the same with any other action: maybe they want to demolish your tower, or maybe they want to see a stuffed animal knock down your tower. Bonus points if the stuffed animal does it when you are not looking and then you are really pretending to be mean about it.
There are two more things you can do that are infallible (in my limited experience, anyway), but they require planning ahead of time. First, juggling : if you can juggle, just do it in front of your little one. Their little brains are still trying to understand physics and they will be amazed . Second: bubbles. Go anywhere with party favors and grab a pocket sized bottle of bubbles. Children will giggle and run around trying to pop bubbles.
Age 3-8: Young children can tell (and listen to) stories
The previous points often work with these preschool children. But they are also old enough to pay a little attention. This means they can follow the story, whether it’s the story you tell or the one they watched on TV and can talk about. Here are a few more things you can do:
- Read the book to them. Feel free to stop and ask what they think will come next, or point out something silly going on in the photos.
- Show them a cool game on your phone. Simple is Better: Angry Birds is a classic, but a four-year-old can have hours of fun with Snapchat filters.
- Dance party. It really works for any age. PlayWe Are the Dinosaurs and stomp or play your favorite tunes.
Children of this age often watch their favorite TV show or movie. They usually don’t keep it a secret: your little cousin can show up in Paw Patrol sneakers, a Paw Patrol shirt, and carry his toys in a Paw Patrol backpack. You might ask, “So do you like Paw Patrol?” but you won’t get far from that. Instead, ask the character’s name and then ask what that character is doing .
With just a few questions, you can often get your child to tell you the story of an entire episode. (This can be confused with other show stories and some of their imaginations. That’s okay.) If you want to really stand out, Google their favorite show ahead of time so you can ask more specific questions. And since many popular characters today are remakes of old ones, you can tell them stories from the past when you watched Star Wars or Wonder Woman.
9 and up: Teens and teens are a lot like you
Stories and dance parties are still cool by this age, but kids have pretty well-developed interests of their own. For example, they can play on sports teams and absorb their favorite book series.
So there should be a lot of common ground for conversations besides the old “How’s school?” what they get from all their relatives. Try asking about the last book they read, or the movie they watched, or if they’ve played any fun video games lately. Or just pick up something you’re interested in and ask them what they think of it.
If you would rather be more active than just talking, try one of the following:
- Play a fun game, for example, the game “ Apples to Apples” or application ” Heads the Up” . If you have a board game close at hand, this is a good choice too.
- Get them to cook a meal or other focused activity, but let them be the boss. What should we do? How do we decorate these cookies?
- Show each other the funniest YouTube videos you can find . Both of you are almost guaranteed to see something new.
Children of this age may seem like aliens if you are not used to them, but once you put in a little effort to get to know the older children, you will find that you have a lot in common.
For all these age groups, remember that what works for a younger child may work for an older child, or vice versa: it is difficult to draw clear boundaries about what age is right. So do not think that it is weird to suggest one of the children’s activities to a larger child, or vice versa; just adapt it to their interests and skill level as needed.
You can also play with different age groups at the same time: ask a 3-year-old to show you how he is entertaining his little sister, or ask a 5-year-old to teach a 10-year-old a silly song or game. Soon everyone will be laughing together.