How to Get Rid of Irrational Paranoia in the Workplace
Of all the things that can make you anxious at work, some of the worst are the problems you create. This is especially true when negative events happen and you wait for them to happen again. Here are a couple of examples.
This post was originally published on the Muse website .
Let’s say you’ve worked in an organization that has gone through a lot of changes. And then one day you were unexpectedly fired . You have no idea how you deserved it – you were confident that you would be included in the group of people that the company made up. You begin your next job holding your breath, waiting for the ax to fall again.
Or perhaps you had a difficult manager who never really supported or praised your hard work and efforts. Maybe she even called out your mistakes in front of other team members, or taunt you in meetings when she’s having a bad day. Now you hear your manager and colleagues laughing in the next room and you are convinced that they are making fun of what you said.
Then there is the boss who looks annoyed every time you ask for a break or ask to leave early for a doctor’s appointment. In your next job, you are literally afraid to take advantage of your vacation days for fear of a negative boss reaction.
This kind of thinking is hard to shake off. And it can be especially frustrating when you can’t get rid of memories of a previous unpleasant work environment. Memories of toxic office culture (or your boss) can leave you vulnerable even after you leave. You cannot completely get rid of the idea that things are different now, better, and therefore you constantly question the motives of your colleagues.
If you’re generally anxious or anxious , your paranoia is likely to get worse. Another reason is low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for you to accept the pleasant nature of your current workplace at face value.
When suspicion, fear, and persistent worst-case thinking threaten to negatively impact the quality of your work life, your only answer is to let go of your paranoia once and for all. These four tips will help.
1. Pay attention when you have a paranoid thought.
The first step in changing any behavior is to realize that it is happening. For the next week or so, notice every time you have paranoid thoughts. Keep a journal to note how often these thoughts arise, and try to understand what they are really about.
Simply documenting your thoughts can be one way to release their hold on you. Once you realize how much anxious thinking has invaded your thinking, you can start doing something about it.
2. Ask yourself: is this true?
Suppose you have been promoted and you are suspicious of a colleague from another department who is involved in a hiring decision. He’s not responding to the email you sent him. Your first thought is, “Oh my gosh, I knew he was blocking me because of the promotion I want. Now he breaks off the conversation because he doesn’t want to show his hand. “
Instead of going down this path, stop and ask yourself, “Is it true? Is this a fact or is this a story that I am creating to explain the situation? »You don’t really know why your colleague didn’t reply to your letter. You just know he didn’t. You have no other facts. And following the facts will help you avoid stress and not twist a fairy tale.
3. Ask yourself: What if it were the other way around?
When paranoid thinking infiltrates your work life, you tend to look for evidence to support your thinking. This is a cognitive feature called confirmation bias . For example, when you have a belief that someone is trying to stop you from getting promoted, you look for evidence to support that belief. In this case, you think that your colleague is blocking your promotion. When he doesn’t answer your letter, you see it as evidence of your faith.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask yourself, “What if it were the other way around?” What if he didn’t block your promotion? What other reasons could there be for not answering you?
Probably a lot. He may not be in the office. Or works under tight deadlines. Or he is inundated with e-mail on this particular day. Or maybe his child is sick and he hasn’t slept all night, and today he has really low energy and he doesn’t respond as usual. There are many reasons why someone is doing something or not doing something.
If you think about what other stories might be involved, you divert attention from your paranoid thoughts and anxiety and instead get curious about other explanations. And if you really want to know, you can just ask your colleague what is holding the letter and if there is anything he needs to clarify in order to get an answer.
4. Be active
You are afraid to ask for a vacation from your new job because of the disapproval you received from your last manager. You walk on tiptoe for fear of being knocked down or lazy.
Instead of asking for the weekend and running for cover, take the initiative and clear the air. Ask your manager in advance about her preferences. Find out if she has any doubts about when people are taking vacation, how much time she wants, and how to deal with those inconvenient daytime visits to the dentist. By taking this respectful path and figuring out what works best for your manager ahead of time, you’ll build good communication about PTOs and time away from your workplace.
Naturally, unpleasant events like layoffs or difficult managers can make you wary as you move forward. But being suspicious of future peers and managers will prevent you from joining a new team and building the relationships you need to be successful. By using these strategies to recognize and counteract paranoid thinking , you are taking big steps to dramatically improve the quality of your work life.
How to get rid of (irrational) paranoia in the workplace once and for all | Muse