Why You Should Learn From People Who Failed As Much As Successful People
Who can give you better advice on how to be successful than successful people? Well, if you’re smart, you’ll also listen to people who have failed to know what pitfalls to avoid. And maybe back that up with some unbiased data.
As you can see in the video above from the Bite Size Psych site, we have a natural tendency to assume that successful people know how to replicate their own success. We think they can give us advice on how to succeed in our lives, even if our circumstances are completely different. This is often a delusion. Just because you are successful does not mean that you know all the factors that led you to it.
The video uses the example of people who are happily married. One ten-year German study of 2,500 couples found that those who stayed married all this time were already happier to begin with than couples who eventually divorced. However, when asked how to make marriage work, most couples did not answer, “Well, I was already pretty happy.” Even the question of how to make the marriage work eliminates any answers associated with improving personal happiness. Our whole approach skews the answer.
The solution, of course, is not to ignore the advice of people who have been successful. Instead, also listen to people who have failed. For every person who has successfully started their own business, listen to the one who couldn’t understand what was confusing him. Explore not only the habits of happy people, but also the habits that can make you unhappy. First of all, don’t be afraid to consider external data points. It is common knowledge that people are poorly aware of the whole range of factors that affect their lives. You should never trust just one study , but if you pay attention to multiple studies it will help you better understand the world around you.
Why you shouldn’t trust the advice of successful people | Psych Bite Size