Write “last Letter” When Writing Your Will
Death is the most natural thing, but it seems surreal, so most of us don’t bother planning it (and it’s kind of a bummer, too). We’ve told you how to prepare for the hands-on experience , but there is also an emotional side to think about. Consider writing a “last letter”.
In the New York Times, Dr. W.J. Periykoil detailed her experiences with dying patients. She writes:
The most common emotion they express is regret: regret that they never bothered to mend broken friendships and relationships; regret that they never told their friends and family how much they care; regret that children will remember them as overcritical mothers or demanding, authoritarian fathers.
Based on this experience, Periyakoil launched the Stanford project “Letters to friends and relatives “ . In essence, it is an initiative that encourages patients to start a dialogue with their doctors and loved ones to communicate “what is most important to them at the end of life”. This means creating guidelines for caring for them, as well as expressing your feelings to family and friends.
Again, this is kind of a dark topic and most of us don’t quite understand it. However, the thought that you can leave this world without closure is an even more unpleasant thought. There are three templates on the project site that you can use:
- What Matters Most: This is a letter template that allows anyone to document what matters most to them and what kind of treatment they want in the future. The tool is free and available as a printable online form, as well as an iPhone and Android app in eight different languages.
- Letter Project Advance Directive: This tool allows anyone to answer a few simple questions in English. When they are finished and click Print, the tool will send them an auto-completed, valid advance directive and an additional letter to their doctor describing their end-of-life health care preferences. This tool is free and available as a printable online form, as well as an iPhone and Android app.
- Letter to Friends and Family: This letter can help all adults complete seven life analysis tasks: recognize the important people in our lives; remembering precious moments of our life; apologies to those we may have hurt; forgiving those who hurt us; and say thank you, I love you and goodbye. Using this template, you can write an email to your friends and family in one of eight languages using an online form, an iPhone or Android app, or a printable form.
Click on the links above to view each template. You fill them out online and then you can print or email (you don’t need to register or submit anything). To learn more about the initiative, follow the links below.
Draft letter to friends and family at Stanford via The New York Times