“Listen to Biography, Not Ideology” to Listen Better When You Disagree
When someone expresses an opinion with which you disagree, it can be difficult to stay cool and listen to them. To better practice these listening skills and building bridges, focus on the person behind the belief rather than the belief itself.
As writer Benjamin Mates explains, other people usually have different experiences than you, which can lead them to a different belief system. When we discuss (or, more often, read someone’s opinion on the Internet), we tend to assume that they come from the same background as us. By paying attention to these differences in how people came to their beliefs, you can usually find a clearer reason why they believe so:
We must work to hear the person, not just his opinion. My friend Agape puts it this way:
“Listen to biography, not ideology. “
– Agape
When someone has a point of view that we find difficult to understand, unpleasant, or even offensive, we must pay attention to the set of circumstances that person has experienced that led to that point of view. Find out their history, their biography, and you will discover a real opportunity for understanding that transcends disagreement.
Of course, this does not necessarily mean that you agree. When you pay attention to who they are and where they came from, it is much easier to have a conversation and empathize with other people than to argue with a set of points.
How To Listen When You Disagree | City confessional