Know When to Skip a Difficult Conversation by Asking Yourself These Questions.
Difficult conversations are painful for everyone involved. However, they are not always as necessary as we think, and the Harvard Business Review has compiled 11 questions to ask yourself before you start a tough conversation.
Sometimes difficult conversation is a necessary evil needed to overcome relationship difficulties. In other cases, it is a pointless exercise that makes both sides feel worse. Ask yourself these 11 questions to see if this conversation is worth taking or skipping:
- Based on what I know about this person and our relationship, what can I really hope to achieve through conversation?
- What is my “secret agenda” or “hidden hope” in this conversation? (Long-term harmony? Revenge? What will they change?)
- What specific examples of this problem can I share?
- What is my contribution to the situation?
- Am I inclined to look for problems with this person or about this?
- Is it already starting to dissolve?
- How long ago did it start? Is this a recurring or recurring problem? Can it become one?
- How “essential” is the issue to our relationship or work?
- How committed am I to being “right”?
- What is the smartest and most effective solution I can suggest?
- Is this the person with whom you can talk about this?
If you answer in such a way that the situation will resolve itself, this is not so critical, you are more interested in the accusation or it is too late to speak, then you can probably skip this conversation altogether. If not, it’s probably worth striking up this difficult conversation, so make sure you’re doing it right .
When to Skip a Difficult Conversation | Harvard Business Review