A Little Self-Deception Can Actually Be Beneficial for Relationships.
While it’s generally good to love your partner for who they really are, lying to yourself about their qualities isn’t really that bad. In fact, a little self-deception can ultimately make you both happier.
In this video from YouTube channel New York Magazine The Science of Us explains how a little idealization of your significant other can be beneficial for the longevity of your relationship. According to one three-year study, couples who believe their partners have certain “ideal” qualities end up happier, even if those qualities are actually missing from their partners. ” Positive illusions, ” a form of self-deception that makes you feel better about your significant other, even creates a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you always value your loved ones highly, they will probably want to live up to your expectations. Your misconceptions can spread to your partner, and he will begin to behave the way you want him to behave.
Of course, there is a line that cannot be crossed. You never want to lie to yourself about an abusive or unhealthy relationship, so make sure your misconceptions aren’t trying to hide the really awful things. You canread more about the related study here .