How to Stop Swearing so Damn
Swearing can be fun, or it can help us express anger, pain, or frustration. But it’s not always appropriate, and if swearing is a bit of a bad habit, it’s not that hard to quit.
Find an Accountability Friend
You may know that you need to filter yourself more, but that can motivate you to realize how often you actually swear in front of others. In the above video from the Howcast YouTube channel, Faye de Muishondt encourages you to enlist the help of someone you know to actively point out when you are swearing. You can ask them to clap their hands, use a code word, or even make noise every time you say a swear word. You may be surprised at how often you do this and use it as an extra push to change your speaking habits. Muishondt also suggests recording the swearing so you can hear you say to others as you do it. When you talk to others, you may find it cool to swear like a sailor, but when you hear it on tape, you may feel very differently.
Alternatively, Hello Giggles’ Karlie Mae invites you to join forces and work with a partner to encourage each other to quit smoking. Wear elastic bands around your wrists and clip them on when someone swears. With this approach, a glance at the rubber band on the wrist can be a sufficient reminder. Or start ” swearing ” in which you need to invest money every time you swear .
Imagine that your grandmother always hears you
Like your sweet old grandmother, this advice is old but helpful. The Cuss Control Academy recommends that you imagine that you are always within earshot of someone with whom you will never fight. Imagine that your grandmother, your daughter, or even a priest is in the room with you. Think of the last person on earth to whom you would like to hear you swear, and put them right here with you. You can also imagine that the same people are always recording or listening to you.
Color your tongue differently
Most of us swear to emphasize a point, albeit in a dramatic way . Fortunately, the English language has an almost endless number of ways to emphasize or describe something. Take advantage of the moments you usually use to swear, and instead turn it into an opportunity to be more visual.
Instead of swear words, there is much less poignancy and more humor, but you can still convey your point of view. The video above from the Howcast YouTube channel suggests so you can turn your F-bombs into fake bombs as well. They may sound silly, but that’s the point! In fact, the funnier you make the word substitution, the better. If you can manage to replace most of your swearing with silly words like “fiddledy-dee”, you end up feeling so funny that you can stop swearing altogether. At the very least, others will find it a fun quirk and not an inappropriate habit. If you don’t know where to start, first think about why you are swearing. Trying to sound mature? Choose intelligent instead. Are you trying to be funny? Try to be creatively stupid. Are you trying to sound cool? Tough people don’t let things get so bad for them.
The guys at Personality Tutor recommend that you improve your vocabulary and see what other colorful things you can say . Find fancy ways to say the same thing, or find an old word that is no longer used. For example, I had a lot of fairly conservative families and friends going to church with whom I fought too much. I was just a kid, so it didn’t bother me that much, but I didn’t want any problems with my family and church people, so I researched and replaced most of my harsh speech with old, stereotypical “Wild West” words like “Dagnabbit” and “nasty” and even Shakespearean insults . A little google search will bring you more old-fashioned swear words than you might imagine . Use your brain, not your mouth.
Use the “evil box”
You are probably familiar with the “curse jar” concept where someone has to put money in the bank every time they swear. Well, the “evil box” is, in fact, a jar of swearing on steroids. Toma Haiku explains :
For swearing to be effective, it must be felt on a personal level. You need to make sure that you do not swear, and do not invest a single dollar in it. It helps connect the jar with something evil or something that you hate. Let’s say, for example, you want to quit smoking, but it’s a struggle because smoking gives you pleasure. If you beat yourself in the balls every time you smoke a cigarette, smoking will be associated with more pain than pleasure, and you will be less likely to do so. A jar of swearing should be like punching yourself on nuts. In my case, I decided to donate all the money to the evil organization.
Your evil box can invest in anything if you don’t like it or it somehow negatively affects you. There are even apps that can help you easily create your own “anti-charitable system”. Or send money to your friend and ask him to use it to pay for pranks on you. Raise the stakes and give yourself a real boost. Of course, if you are going to punish yourself, you must also reward yourself. Don’t be afraid to celebrate a day without swearing or an entire week by swearing only in private.
Hide accidents
While you are working on your new clean language filter, you are bound to have a few mistakes. This is to be expected and perfectly normal, but Stanley K. Loewen of Health Guidance suggests having some cover strategies in the meantime:
For example, you can practice changing a word as you speak by adding something at the end. So if you find yourself continuing to say “fuck,” just add something like “crying out loud!” At the end. Now what you say is “fuck loud”, that is, “for shouting loudly.” This is a great way to cover up an accident after it has happened and to fool young children. Another option is to simply clap your hands loudly at the same time as swearing, and this can hide it by ear.
This is especially useful if you have children or work with children. Other classics include “shit mushrooms”, “the asshole system is pretty big,” “independence hooliganism,” “lemonade dumbass,” and “dumbass Syria.” Get creative with your covers and make it a habit to use them. If you have a personal favorite, share it in the comments below.