How to Prevent Masturbation From Ruining Your Relationship
Is there a place for masturbation in a relationship? The simple answer is yes! This is your body, you should be able to do whatever you want with it. But like everything else in life, masturbation has some complications that can affect your relationship. Here’s how to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner and arm.
Benefits of masturbation in a relationship
For starters, let’s digress from the obvious: masturbation is cool, and it can really positively affect you, your sex life, and your relationships. For instance:
- Builds confidence in the body. Most people are ashamed of their body, especially their genitals, or theirs. Many of these feelings arise from ignorance. Many of my clients go to great lengths not to touch or look at their genitals, which only makes their feelings for their body worse. Masturbation physically requires you to be in contact with your body. It helps you to feel pleasure in a part of your body that may have ever caused only shame. Touching yourself won’t solve all your self-esteem problems, but it will help you realize that genitals are great.
- It helps you find out what you like. When you’re with someone new, you always need to learn to recognize each other’s bodies and figure out how to please each other. However, it is really helpful to have landmarks for what you like. Many people will find it difficult to reach orgasm with a partner until they orgasm on their own. You can learn invaluable lessons through masturbation, such as “Never touch my clitoris directly” or “A gentle pull of the balls is enough to launch me into outer space.”
- You can learn how to last longer. It’s mostly suitable for men, but masturbation is a great way to help you build endurance. We looked at a lot of specific tips a few months ago , but The Cliff Notes should practice the stop-start method as you get close to the brink of orgasm, then stop, and then start again after the urgency has passed. You should also aim to masturbate for about as long as you want to last during sex with a partner. The Tenga Flip Hole is also a great endurance toy as it is easier to slow yourself down to the point of no return.
- It can increase your sex drive. You may find that regular masturbation increases your sex drive. Masturbation naturally makes you think about sex more often and can remind you of how pleasant it is to experience pleasure and orgasm.
- This makes it easier to manage incompatible sex drives. In any relationship, there will be many times when one person wants sex and the other doesn’t . Masturbation is an easy way to get some satisfaction even when your partner is not in the mood.
Problems Masturbation Can Cause
It’s probably obvious that I’m a supporter of self-love, but that doesn’t mean that masturbation is always a positive part of a relationship. Here are some signs that it might be time to rethink your masturbation habits:
- If it creates distance. Everyone needs some time alone, especially in a relationship, and masturbation can be a good way to have a good time with yourself. However, sometimes this can create too much distance between partners. People and relationships are confusing and complex, while your hand is admirably free of emotion. This is a good reason why masturbation can seem more tempting than trying to be intimate with your partner . But if you sit out masturbating in the office by connecting with your partner, your relationship will suffer.
- If this is the only way, you may be satisfied. While there are many ways masturbation can improve sex, it can make partner intimacy difficult. Some people masturbate in a very specific way that the other person cannot masturbate. This is fine on its own, but it can cause problems if it’s the only way to get turned on or quit. For example, if you are a man who always uses a stranglehold, or a woman who always uses the sander setting on her magic wand, you may find that communication with your partner is less satisfying. Some couples may feel quite content working with these specific masturbation patterns, but others may find them more aggressive.
- If it replaces your desire for your partner. Ready to enter an extremely tricky gray area? In certain situations, self-masturbation can mean that you do not want sex with your partner or cannot have sex with your partner. For example, some people may feel that masturbation lowers their sex drive, which makes them less likely to be intimate with their partners. Men with a relatively long refractory period may notice that masturbation prevents them from achieving an erection for their partners. You may find yourself in an awkward position when you have to choose between masturbating and having sex with your partner. This can be especially difficult if you are also a partner with a lower sex drive in your relationship. If your partner wants sex more often than you do, he may be upset that you are, in effect, “taking away” the opportunity for you two to be intimate. Boof.
How to maintain a healthy balance
We’ve covered the pros and cons of masturbation in a relationship, so now let’s talk about how to move further on the “professional” side of the spectrum.
Be honest with your habits.
For most people, the extent of their masturbatory thought process is, “Hmm, I have a few minutes alone. Take your pants off! »Part of the joy of masturbation lies in its simplicity. However, you should try to be more attentive to your masturbatory tendencies. Ask yourself questions such as “Are my masturbation habits causing any problems in my relationship with myself or with my partner?” and “is masturbation stopping me from having the partner intimacy that I want?” It doesn’t have to be a big test. Sometimes such a simple thing as a short break in porn can resolve any problems encountered.
Masturbate with your partner
Masturbation is all about your personal relationship with your body, but sometimes you might as well invite your partner. Try masturbating together. This can be a fun way to shake up your normal bedroom routine and make sure you both do a great job. If you’re not in the mood, try watching your partner masturbate. Seeing your partner having fun is damn sexy and you can always offer your help with dirty talk or a little peeping.
Support healthy masturbation
Masturbation will play a different role in different relationships, but the key is communication. Not many people talk openly about masturbation, but honest discussion can change the world for the better. The more we support the healthy aspects of masturbation, the more we can reduce the negative effects. Discuss the pros and cons of masturbation in your relationship. If you are with a woman who is struggling with the shame of masturbating, tell her that you are maintaining her body awareness. If you live with your partner, let him be alone in the apartment for a bit and winking knowingly as you walk out the door.
After all, you don’t need to ask permission to masturbate, but you need to make sure you are aware of the role he plays in your relationship.