Learn to Compliment by Replacing Your Default Answer
We have a lot to say to learn to accept compliments, and many of us are really bad at it. When a friend, colleague, or boss praises us for a job well done, we brush it off and say something like, “Oh, that’s okay.” Here’s how to respond if you’re trying to improve your compliment acceptance skills.
There are a number of reasons why you don’t know how to accept compliments. Maybe you are shy and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you don’t want to appear boastful. Whatever the reason, there is a good reason to learn to accept praise. First, sometimes rejecting a compliment is perceived as condescension . This makes the giver feel uncomfortable. In addition, declining a compliment can diminish your value , as the Art of Masculinity says. Taking praise politely is usually more professional than ignoring it.
You probably know that by default you are ready to answer for refusing a compliment. For many, it doesn’t really matter. For me, this is one of two reactions: 1) instead, I say something negative about myself, or 2) I ignore the compliment altogether and instead praise the giver. Define your default answer and then replace it with something better.
For example, the next time you are hard at work on a project, your boss praises your ability to work under pressure, and you are tempted to tell him or her, “It doesn’t really matter,” take into account the fact that you may deviate. Instead, try replacing this gut reaction with a simple “thank you.” And when someone thanks you , Muse suggests accepting “please” instead of throwing off gratitude for hard work or even a favor:
The funny thing is that “Welcome!” – it’s so easy, yet so overlooked. If you listen to yourself the next 10 times, someone will thank you, I bet your answer will be more like “Sure,” “No problem,” or “Anytime.”
So practice saying, “Welcome!” In everyday life (for example, after someone thanks you for keeping the door open). Then you can more readily say this when a colleague thanks you for helping them on a big project.
Both answers are obvious, and you may not be a fan of simple favors — each his own “please”. The point is, learning to accept compliments can be surprisingly rewarding. By replacing the usual answer with a more acceptable phrase, it is quite easy to learn this skill.
You need to stop responding to praise with the words “this is not a problem” – here’s how | Muse