How to Have Sex When One of You Is Significantly Taller Than the Other
I’m even five feet, and I’m married to six feet. As a small person, I am all too familiar with my face getting stuck in my armpit or pressing against my nipple when trying to descend. Here’s what I’ve learned about intimacy with significant height differences.
Change your gender definition
The difference in height is only really noticeable when you are doing something that requires your pelvis to be in roughly the same place. Fortunately, there are many other fun things you can do while naked. You cannot say that someone is physically towering over you when you do or receive manual labor or oral sex, use a vibrator, masturbate together, or participate in anal play. In a sense, the huge difference in height could push some couples to expand their gender definitions, which we could all benefit from anyway. P-in-V shouldn’t be the default!
Explore many positions
If you like penetration of any kind, you need to get a little creative with sexual positions. I love flipping through pictures and illustrations for inspiration. Two good resources areBad Girl’s Bible and SoFeminine . BGB is a little awkward to navigate, and SF has crappy illustrations, but both offer 100 or more positions. Sadly, both only portray heterosexual couples, but most of the positions are suitable for anal sex or for strap-on use.
In general, you should avoid positions where your torso is pressed against each other or where a large person shifts all of their weight to a smaller one. Here are some good bets:
- The receiving partner is from above. When your bodies are perpendicular, the difference in height is not noticeable.
- Another way to achieve a perpendicular position is to place the penetrating partner on their knees on the floor (a pillow under the knees will make this more comfortable). The receiving partner is thrown over the edge of the bed either on his stomach or on his back.
- You can also do a variation of the aforementioned pose by placing the receiving partner on a counter or table and the giving partner to stand.
- Try to take your partner from above so that both partners are seated. If the receiving partner is a smaller person, this could be a truly intimate position. The larger partner essentially serves as a “child seat” to provide eye contact.
- If you really want to do the missionary position (usually a one-way ticket to the nipples), try rotating your body so that you get a slight X-shape.
- Starting from the missionary position, have the penetrating partner sit back or kneel while the receiving partner does a small bridge position.
Each pair will have to find their own unique variations, but exploring is half the fun!
Props are your friends
There are many props that can be used to facilitate penetration. I do not recommend placing pillows under your thighs as they tend to slide. Instead, try using a sturdier sofa cushion or bed rest that won’t deflate on you. If you’re looking to invest a bit, Liberator has a large line of sex pillows and wedges that you can use to change the angles of your body. Their basic wedge / tilt combo offers a range of combinations and you can get extra lift for even more gain.
If you really want to become elite, the Revel Essence Chair can help you get into a position where size is not such a big deal. The sofas and chairs you already have in your apartment can also be used as accelerators to align your basins at the same height. If you enjoy having sex while standing, a simple chair or stepladder can help you get to that level.
Have a sense of humor
If you and your partner are significantly different heights, there are likely to be awkward moments when trying to position your limbs correctly. Sex can seem pretty damn stupid at times, but I actually think it’s not that bad. I said before that people can take sex too seriously. Trying to stretch your neck far enough to make 69 work will definitely bring the frivolity back into the bedroom!
After all, the challenges you face as a couple of different sizes aren’t all that unique. It’s all about figuring out how your bodies fit together, which is what any two people should do when they start having sex. Many people are initially scared to navigate the differences, but if Shaq can make it work , you and your partner can make it work.