Taking the Plunge: How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure
Each of us has an aspiring adventurer, entrepreneur, or writer. However, when it comes to chasing our goals and dreams, we are often too scared to dash. Fear holds us back. He destroys dreams. It kills productivity and, frankly, robs life of pleasure.
This post originally appeared on the Crew blog .
Before starting my life as a freelancer and starting Nudge , I was very afraid to quit my job from 9 to 5. Whenever there was a chance to fulfill my dream, I would not take it.
Fear is not something that can be overcome simply by working harder. You cannot solve this problem by spending money. And you certainly cannot avoid this by delegating authority. So, I wanted to dig a little deeper and understand why we let fear hold us back and share with you how we can overcome it.
Why are we afraid of failure?
Quite often, it is not failure that instills fear in us, but other negative consequences that accompany failure, such as lack of income or potential embarrassment.
Years ago, whenever I even thought about leaving safe work, I immediately apologized and talked myself out of it.
When given the chance, I always asked myself, what if it doesn’t work? and my mind will be flooded with all the possible negative consequences that can arise. As expected, I soon came to the conclusion that the best option was the safest and resigned myself to staying in my main job.
Unfortunately, we humans are programmed to focus on the negative of situations. This is what psychologists call “negative bias.” As explained James Altucher on Quora :
“If you were in the jungle and saw a lion on the right and an apple tree on the left, you better ignore the apple tree and run from the lion as quickly as possible.”
This type of behavior originated in our ancestors as a shortcut to survival, and although we no longer need it (now we do not have to run away from predators every day), more than 400,000 years of evolution takes a long time to fix it.
The fact that negative information is harder on the brain was also corroborated by a study from Ohio State University, where professors measured participants’ reactions after showing them images known to evoke certain feelings: pictures of a sports car or delicious-looking food for positive emotions. feelings, a fork or tablecloth for neutral, and finally a disfigured face or dead animal for negative feelings.
The results showed that negative images generated the strongest reactions from all participants, proving that our attitudes were more influenced by dark or negative images and news. This is why newspapers and news outlets write so much about negative news. As paradoxical as it sounds, this is what we all want to hear.
How fear influences decision making
If we are more influenced by negative thoughts caused by fear, how does this change the way we make decisions on a daily basis? Fear of failure, fear of our own inferiority, fear of making bad decisions, and fear of what others think of us can all influence the decisions we make.
The part of our brain that controls this fear is known (metaphorically) as the “ reptilian brain ” – it is the oldest part of our brain, rooted in our evolutionary desire to stay alive, which determines whether to fight, flee, or freeze. stressful or dangerous situations.
“Fear prompts retreat,” explains Emory University neuroeconomist Gregory Burns in The New York Times . “This is the antipode of progress. When we need new ideas the most, everyone is gripped by fear, trying not to lose what we have left. “
Burns concludes, “The most specific thing neuroscience tells us is that when the fear system in the brain is active, exploration and risk taking are turned off.” We may not face life-threatening situations on a daily basis, but our basic fear instincts still control how we view the potential outcomes of our decisions.
So, if you’re thinking about taking a trip, you can focus on spending (maybe you could spend that money on more logical things?), Not having a job to get home, or maybe homesickness. instead of everything amazing. positives such as meeting new people, unforgettable experiences and expanding your worldview.
The same is true for most dreams and goals. While the positives can ultimately outweigh the negative, it can be difficult to see the negative and make the decisions we really want to make. Fear can stop us before we even start.
3 strategies to overcome fear and live the life you want
We may be evolutionarily predisposed to react rather than think when faced with difficult decisions, but there are several ways to trick the oldest part of our brain into missing opportunities.
1. Change the perception of failure
Sir James Dyson is one of the most successful inventors in the world, but he calls his life “a life of failure.” In an interview with ABC Radio, he explains that when he was building the prototype for the first Dyson Hoover, there were 5126 failures until he got one that worked.
As Sir James Dyson’s story highlights, failure is not the end – it’s part of your story. This is a natural part of growth. And from time to time it should be looked at as positive and not negative. By changing your perception of failure, you can stop being afraid of it.
2. Find a mentor
Mentors can be incredibly valuable people to meet in your life. Whether you are looking for someone to mentor you when starting a business, someone to give you the courage to write your first film script, or someone to encourage you to travel the world, there is someone who can guide you and help. you get started.
The great thing about mentors is that they’ve all probably struggled with fear at some point and can understand your situation and help you overcome it. If you’re unsure of where to start when looking for someone to mentor you, this article is a great place to start.
“Mentor” can be a daunting or possibly silly title to assign to someone, but just having someone with a lot of experience that you can turn to for advice is invaluable.
3. Break your dreams into doable pieces
In his book The Naked Leader, David Taylor makes a very simple and bold statement: “Imagine if you can’t fail. Who would you be? Where would you go? And what would you do? “
Letting go of the thoughts of failure can help you pinpoint exactly what you want out of life. Take time to sit down and think about the bigger picture: What kind of dream do you want to pursue? And if you couldn’t lose, what would you do?
Once you know the answers to these questions, break your dreams down into smaller, more achievable chunks, and suddenly you’ll see fewer fears.
As Lewis Howes explains in this Forbes article, “If your goal is to ‘start a business,’ change it to ‘interview one business owner.’ This second goal seems a lot less daunting, doesn’t it? By destroying dreams, you can be less afraid at every step. “
Identify the root cause of your fear
Take a step back and ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? Failure is a rather vague term, and the root cause of someone’s fear of failure is often more tangible, such as:
- I’m afraid I won’t make enough money
- I’m afraid I’m not confident enough to sell my idea
- I’m afraid to start something new
The above examples represent more specific problems. When I analyzed my fear, I realized that I was worried about money. I was comfortable with my paycheck and at the time I wanted to have enough money to enjoy my life and also just pay my bills.
Once I identified why I was afraid, I was able to find a way around the problem instead of continuing to suffer from fear. Identifying the root cause of your fear will enable you to do the same.
To do something big, whether it’s traveling the world, getting fired from your job to start a business, or chasing your wildest dreams, you must overcome something just as big: fear. Once you understand the reason for your fear, you have already taken the first step towards the desired life. So what are you afraid of?