Win an Argument by Asking Your Opponent to Explain Their Idea First
When you have an argument, it is only natural to want to explain your position as quickly and often as possible. However, if you want to argue more effectively, first ask your opponent to explain their point of view in detail.
This method is a variation of the steel man tactics . Most people tend to believe that they are better at a topic simply because they are more familiar with it. They may have many years of experience in a particular field, but they still lack the detailed information needed to accurately explain it. Teachers often discover this flaw when trying to explain a topic they thought they knew. To counter someone claiming to “know” an area or subject that they may not really be that knowledgeable about, ask them to explain their position in detail first. As the business blog Entrepreneur explains, this is a quick way to find holes to poke in, and it can even increase the likelihood of adopting an alternative perspective:
Research published last year on this illusion of understanding shows how this effect can be used to convince others that you are wrong. The research team, led by Philip Fernbach of the University of Colorado, concluded that this phenomenon may have implications for both political understanding and things like toilets. Perhaps, they argued, those with strong political views would be more open to other points of view if asked to explain exactly how they believed the policies they advocated would produce the effects they expected.
… The results were clear. The people who argued remained as convinced of their position as before the experiment. Those who were asked to provide explanations softened their views and reported that, accordingly, a greater drop in their assessment of their understanding of the problems. For example, people who were previously strongly in favor of or against carbon trading tended to become more moderate, feeling less confident in their support or opposition to these policies.
This strategy has two advantages: First, by allowing the other person to speak first, you open them up emotionally. Instead of starting in a confrontational tone, letting them voice their point of view, they feel more grounded and therefore more willing to listen to outside opinions. Second, it gives you the opportunity to better understand how well they understand the subject and where you can offer specific information that conflicts with their understanding. The more detailed and specific information you can offer that contradicts their point of view, the easier it will be to win them over to your side.
The best way to win an argument | Businessman