How to Change Your Masturbation Habit for Better Sex
Masturbation is a lot of fun, but when it starts getting in the way of your sex life, it’s time to switch it over. If you have erection problems, early ejaculation problems, or orgasm in general, here are some easy ways to change your masturbation habits and fix performance issues.
If you are unable to communicate diligently with your partner
Problem : Most men have masturbated for decades, and they’ve honed a very specific technique that they use over and over again. Optimizing your approach works well when you’re alone, but can be detrimental when you start having sex with a partner. Your body may be so used to your touch that it has a hard time responding to your partner’s touch. Or you may have masturbated in a way that cannot be replicated with a partner, such as pinching your penis between a mattress and box springs (yes, a lot of guys do that).
Solution : If you’ve masturbated in the same way for decades, it might take a while to train your body to respond to other types of stimulation, but it’s definitely doable. There are endless ways to masturbate, so discovering new techniques can be a very inspiring process. I was directly impressed with the creativity shown in some of my clients’ masturbation techniques. I’ve heard of renegade male masturbators made from Ziploc bags, fresh food, and even cans of Pringles (when you burst, you can’t stop?) Speed or pressure, use your non-dominant hand, or try using a lube or sex toy. The Reddit / r / sex subsection can be a good source of inspiration. Here’s a branch to get you started. If you are single now, try using different masturbation techniques at least half the time you masturbate. If you are in a relationship, try to give up your old backup technique until your penis is more receptive to more varied touch.
Another option is to skip masturbation altogether in order to increase your overall sensitivity. If you’ve masturbated several times a day, or paid more attention to pornography than to your body , your penis may have decreased sensitivity. Fortunately, these effects are short-lived. Taking regular breaks of a week or more can help boost your feelings.
If you ejaculate too quickly
Problem : When you learned to masturbate as a child, you most likely felt that masturbation was “wrong.” You probably tried to get the job done as quickly as possible to avoid getting caught. Over the years, you’ve trained your body to reach orgasm as soon as possible, perhaps even in a matter of seconds. Then you come of age and suddenly you want something completely different from your cock: last longer, not cum as quickly as possible! The penis usually doesn’t respond well to this confusing sequence of events.
Solution : Luckily, you can train yourself to last longer by masturbating. Think about how long you would like to last during your favorite sexual activities with your partner. Strive to last that long for at least half of your masturbation sessions (again, if you’re in a relationship right now and want faster results, try to last longer with each masturbation session). Want to last 15 minutes during intercourse? Don’t allow yourself to orgasm until you’ve masturbated for at least 15 minutes. You can practice this by trimming yourself an edge. When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, remove your hand from your penis and take a few slow, deep breaths until that feeling of inevitable orgasm begins to subside. Start the backup again and repeat this sequence of stops and starts until you reach the optimal time limit. At first it may seem like you are doing this a thousand times, but over time it will get easier.
You can also better recognize what’s going on in your body in the moments just before orgasm. The more familiar you are with each step that leads to the “point of no return,” the less likely you are to be caught off guard by a quick orgasm when you are with your partner.
Another way is to try Kegel exercises while masturbating. You can locate your PC muscles, which are used in Kegels, by trying to block the flow of urine before your bladder fills. You can train these muscles by contracting and relaxing them (when you are not peeing). The stronger these muscles become, the better you can control your orgasm. Most men are aware of Kegel but are not inclined to practice it while masturbating. When you masturbate, try pulsing your PC muscles a few times. When you feel yourself getting closer to orgasm, try to squeeze and hold your muscles and see how this affects your ability to control your orgasm.
There is also an old fallback masturbation technique before you know you are about to hook up. This is not the most reliable trick, but as a last resort, it can help you last longer.
If you take too long to orgasm (or can’t reach orgasm at all)
Problem : You hear a lot about premature ejaculation, but many men have the opposite problem: ejaculating too long. It is also a consequence of using a very specific or unusual masturbation technique, as orgasm is more difficult to achieve if you do not use this method. For example, many men grip their penises very tightly during masturbation (colloquially called “death grip”) and cannot work hard without this additional pressure.
Solution : As I suggested in the section on erection problems, try using different masturbation techniques for a while to get your body used to responding to a wider range of stimulation.
For some men, there is an element of control. They like to stimulate themselves and find it difficult to react to the touch of another person. If you feel like this might be your case, try playing with masturbation techniques when you are not in full control of the stimulation. A potential solution here is sex toys such as Auto Blow 2 , an oral sex simulator. Or you can try hands-free masturbation, for example by attaching a male masturbator such as the Tenga Flip between the aforementioned mattress and box spring and sticking it into it. Another option is to take a short masturbation break again.
There may also be men who may benefit from the opposite approach: incorporating masturbation into your partner’s sex life. If your partner tends to orgasm faster than you and you feel comfortable with your masturbation habits, there is nothing wrong with helping yourself when you are with your partner. Use your hand to get closer to orgasm before resuming sex with your partner. Masturbating in front of your partner can be an incredibly sexual experience for both of you!
The key is to remember the role of masturbation in your life. Taking your word of honor with your habits and working towards healthier models can dramatically improve your sex life!