The Money Fears That Held Me Back (and How I Overcame Them)
After college, I was lucky to find a job quickly. I counted on my blessing and entered the working world with enthusiasm. A few months later, I was offered a better, higher-paying job. You might think that I would be happy, but I am not. Not really. I was most afraid.
The opportunity was tempting, and it matched the amount I needed to get in the industry. But I was afraid of the risk. What if it didn’t work out? What if after that I don’t find anything? What if I had nothing? The fear of losing a stable income scared me so much that I almost forgot to find a great job that paid well and ultimately helped pay off my student debt.
To some extent, fear can serve a purpose. He first lit a fire that helped me achieve some financial goals. In a way, it helped me work hard. But after a while, the same fear began to hinder me more than it helped. Here are a few of the financial fears I have faced and what I have done to overcome them.
I was afraid of losing income
Probably my biggest financial fear was losing my job. Or, more precisely, the loss of a source of income. This is an understandable fear. I was afraid of the struggle to have enough money. My family didn’t grow up for long and it sucks and I don’t want to go back to that place.
In a sense, this fear served a purpose. It has probably helped shape my work ethic a little. You work very hard when you fear that you will be fired. As understandable as this fear is, it also got in the way of some pretty important things. He started to control most of my main decisions, for example:
- I started a career that I didn’t like because it paid well. My fear was driven by money, and in turn so was I.
- I never asked for a raise because I was afraid that my boss would think differently of me and might eventually fire me.
Overcoming this fear had a lot to do with learning to speak for yourself and getting used to taking risks . But since the fear does have some basis – the lack of a stable income can be frightening – I also had to work with it. For example, I have saved enough money in case of an emergency. This emergency fund reduced fear; It was more convenient for me to take a career risk because I knew that I had a safety net. Secondly, I calculated the risks I took. For example, when I decided to start a new career, I saved up for it and developed a transition plan . I took the risk, and it was a risk that paid off well both financially and emotionally. Having a plan and insurance for an emergency has played a big role in combating this fear.
I didn’t want to regret spending
Another financial fear of mine? Too much waste. In fact, this is not a big fear, and at first glance, it is not bad. You should avoid overspending, right? Of course, but this fear also gets in the way.
For example, as a freelancer, I spend a lot of time on my laptop. For a while, my laptop was on its last legs, which made my work very difficult. It took me longer to get things done, and my system was constantly frustrating me. I had money to spend on a new computer, but I couldn’t shake off the fear of wasting regret. It took longer than I could admit to accept this, buy a new system and make my work life much easier.
I realized that both my fear of wasting regret and my fear of losing my job boiled down to one serious concern: not having enough money. To truly conquer this fear, I had to figure out where it came from, and then I had to figure out my relationship with money . Valerie Golden, professor of psychology at Columbia University, explains :
If your feelings about money cry out for help, they can drown out your ability to even hear financial information objectively, and this could put you on a collision course in the future. Instead of letting the train crash, think about your earliest memories of money, how it was treated in your original family, what it “means” to you now, how it manifests itself in feelings about your life goals, and to myself …
For me, money did not mean opportunity or freedom. This was a source of concern as I have always associated it with disadvantage. Once I understood how money motivated me, it became much easier for me to overcome this fear. Having learned this, I was able to deal with it. Every time I made a financial decision, I asked if it was solely motivated by this concern. If yes, then I have objectively overestimated the solution.
But I still think I regret spending. I wouldn’t call it “fear” these days, but I still fear it because it’s so easy to overspend on it. Balancing the two comes down to developing some conscious spending habits. For instance:
- I limit my indecision to the dollar .
- I focus more on my financial goals than my budget. As long as I can achieve my retirement and savings goals, I am happy and try not to overthink the rest of my spending decisions.
- When it comes to large purchases, I try to adhere to the principle of comfort: I spend money where I spend time .
Since I am a humble person, I find it difficult to spend money in certain areas. But I also have weaknesses, so I am afraid from the very beginning to overspend. Admitting my weaknesses, understanding how money motivates me, and adopting a few guidelines for conscious spending helped me to contain that fear.
Investing scared me
Many people are afraid to invest because they think it is like playing the lottery . I, like others, just felt that it was scary, confusing and beyond my capabilities.
I’ve always been a very frugal person, but saving money is only one part of building wealth . And this is not even the most important thing. If you really want to get rich, coupons won’t cut it. You have to increase the amount of money coming in, and investing is part of that. After I paid off my debts and saved up for an emergency, investing became hard to ignore. I knew saving was important for retirement, and I knew it was best to take advantage of compound interest when I was young. And I could not take advantage of this without investment. So, gradually I started:
- I opened 401 (k) : I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew saving for retirement was good, so I signed up for my employer’s 401 (k) plan and took advantage of the match. But I didn’t know what I was investing in and how it worked.
- I learned about index funds and IRAs : when I quit this job and needed to renew my 401 (k), I had to learn about it, and then I had to learn about IRAs and how to fund them. Most of the resources I read are about index funds, so I learned more about them as well. I also learned to diversify. Overall, I have learned how to put together a lightweight portfolio for beginners .
- I learned how taxes work with investing : I learned that some investment accounts have tax breaks and some are taxed. I learned how they work and how they affect my tax situation.
The learning process was gradual, but most of it fell into one of these three general stages. The thing is, I learned how it all works and I started and learned along the way too. The more I learned, the more I overcame my fear. Soon enough, I realized it wasn’t that scary at all; it’s actually pretty simple.
Sometimes fear works. I was afraid of losing my job, so I worked hard. I was afraid to overspend and lose my money, so I did my best to save it. But after it has served its purpose, that fear can also get in the way and hold you back. Once I realized what scared me most financially, I was able to overcome it and take risks, and the risks were all worth it.