How to Make Objective Decisions When You Are Emotionally Invested
Objectivity is one of the traits we all like to think about. In the end, the best course of action in any given situation is to look at the facts and circumstances and then come up with the best possible solution. It’s simple, right? Not so much.
This post was originally published on Fast Company .
In fact, we all have prejudices . If not managed, we can pay off with lost opportunities, money, relationships and other ways, ”says Elizabeth R. Thornton , professor of management practice at Babson College in Boston .
“We make cognitive mistakes all the time,” she says. “We perceive something and in an instant we project our mental models, our past experience, our biography onto anything – a person, a situation or an event. We are often wrong. “
Thornton recalls that her own business deal fell through because her personality was too attached to the enterprise. Rather than objectively assessing the signs that the venture was down, she focused on her passion for the project and the self-esteem she gained by leading it. This lack of objectivity ultimately cost her $ 1 million.
When she was able to step back some distance and focus on the situation, she began to think and explore the concept of objectivity, which led to her book The Objective Leader: How to Harness the Power of Seeing Things as They Are.
You may not have a cool million at stake, but lack of objectivity can cost you other expenses. Get rid of prejudices and get a clearer picture by taking these important steps.
Realize the limits of your objectivity and find your weak points
If you think that you are truly objective, you are wrong. People are naturally biased, says leadership consultant Brandon Smith , whose professional nickname “Workplace Therapist” reflects his expertise in clinical counseling. “Once you realize that you’re not objective by nature, you can take steps to get closer to it,” he says.
Thornton says we leave evidence when we become less objective. Are there topics that you argue about most or are too tough for you? Are there times when you tend to overreact? “If you’re anxious or very emotional, you probably don’t think rationally or objectively,” she says. This could be because you are emotionally involved in the subject, or because you hold certain beliefs that prevent you from clearly seeing other points of view.
“It takes self-awareness , but at the moment you have to be aware of your triggers and vice versa,” says Thornton.
Gather a brain trust and get an outsider’s opinion
According to management consultant Floranne R. Reagan, president of EXXELL, Inc. in Boston, the best way to become more objective is to expand the information you receive. Build a network of people you respect, whose points of view are usually different from yours, and get their views on various issues. They can be peers, professionals in other business areas, advisory boards, or directors. “Ideally, this is someone who cares about you, but also has the ability to say something clearly in a way that you really hear,” she says.
Anytime you think you know everything there is to know about a subject, it’s time to test your views in the interest of objectivity. Smith also believes that it is a good way to learn new points of view from others. Specifically ask people to share their views. By clearly expressing your opinion and inviting others to share their opinions without threat, you can compare moments and see where you may be missing something.
“Say something like,“ This is what I see. Do you see it differently? allows people to know that you are interested in knowing how their views differ, ”he says.
Consider your personality type
Your natural lifestyle can lead to certain biases, Thornton said. If people naturally like you, then perhaps you make decisions, at least in part, on your desire to avoid conflict or trouble with others. This is another form of bias that can prevent you from weighing facts strictly on their merits.
With a little thought and exploring the perspectives of your colleagues, you can distance yourself from the decisions you are emotionally involved in and hopefully gain a more objective point of view.
How to be objective when you are emotionally invested | Fast Company