Focus on Achievement, Not Image, to Build Self-Confidence
Confidence is important . Without it, opportunities pass you by. However, if you’re trying to level up, focus on finding something to accomplish, not something that makes you look cooler.
We all have a tendency to focus on our image to boost our confidence. This tale is as old as imitating the tough guys who smoke on TV. However, as The Art of Manliness points out, just making an outward change in your confidence isn’t always enough. It may help you a little to shape the right mindset, but if you don’t achieve what you like, this image can be undermined:
The image cannot be everything, because it can be taken away from you, leaving you with nothing. Once I was worried about what I put on before going out with the guys, with the main intention of getting drunk, laughing a lot and getting a few new numbers. And although I am far from the most self-confident person on the planet, I have matured a little and I have deep confidence – it is born in failure and struggle and does not depend on the image at all.
I gained confidence through achievement, exercise and travel; facing fears, pushing my boundaries and gaining knowledge, rather than reading Esquire or GQ and expecting another person’s style to give me the confidence I need to live the life I want to live.
The site describes this phenomenon in terms of dating, but it can be applied to anything. If you want to boost your self-confidence, work on a project, do something new, or create something that you can be proud of. However, if the only thing you do to feel confident is to wear nice shoes and iron your shirt, you may end up in a junkyard again at the first sign of resistance.
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