How to Cope With Family Vacation As an Adult
Holidays and vacations with family can be stressful . This is especially true if you are traveling with someone who knew you as a child and still expect the dynamics to be the same. Here are some steps you can take to become an adult and survive your family trip.
Participate in the planning process
Dive into vacation planning. The more you contribute to the trip, the more you will feel connected. It will also help you make sure there are activities on vacation that you want to participate in and relieve pressure from one person. You can also apply this to others and try to involve them in the planning process. Ask other close relatives what they want to do on the trip so that everyone’s interests are represented (and hopefully everyone will be happy). Remember, everyone doesn’t have to do everything together . Plan some activities for small groups or on your own to give people a chance to recharge and develop deeper contact with each other.
Take responsibility
Family planning is very demanding, and you can show that you are part of the “grown-up” by taking responsibility in two ways.
- Monetary Liability: Offer assistance with travel expenses, including transportation, food and lodging.
- Responsibility for Your Behavior: In addition to acting like an adult, you must be aware of yourself and monitor your mood and thinking. If you need a group break, take it – there is no shame in it.
- Get ready for the trip: Know what accessories you need on your trip and be sure to take them with you. This can be anything from matching clothes to things that everyone will wear. (If unsure, ask others!)
Beyond these areas, be responsible for the atmosphere of the time everyone is spending together. One way to do this is to direct the conversation to interesting and non-controversial topics, which may vary depending on your family . Marie Hartwell-Walker of Psych Central suggests playing the “Conversation Game.” Basically, you prepare a stack of question cards and pass the stack across the table. Everyone who wants to answer a question then moves on to the next person. This empowers everyone to start a conversation, not just you. You don’t really need a deck of cards to use this method, the main takeaway is to prepare with some questions so you can start a conversation right away and go beyond the basic topics of work, weather and news.
Adjust your expectations
Make sure your expectations are true. Chances are, there is someone younger than you in your family. Treat them like an adult (as if you are trying to get others to do for you). At the AARP has some great tips on this occasion :
Be realistic. Plan what you want and then lower your expectations. “Think of it as if you were packing your suitcase for the trip and then, just before you left, you took out half of your clothes,” she says.
As difficult as it is, realize that members of your family who are having a difficult time are probably still having a difficult time. Adjusting your own expectations will have a big impact.
Accept being an adult
Enjoy the things that come with giving up “child” status in your family. It doesn’t just mean having a drink with your cousin. Conduct deeper conversations with your family members, regardless of which generation they are. You probably have a lot more in common with your relatives now that both of you have experienced more similar life events – for example, becoming a parent or developing your career.
Correct tracking
Remember your etiquette and impress those close to you. Send a thank you note to the owner or whoever did most of the work on the organization, make sure no one needs to reimburse the travel expenses, or if you borrowed something from someone, make sure they return it. In general, if you please, it will give you the impression that you are an adult and should be treated like an adult. This will really set the stage for future family holidays.
Whether you are traveling with your immediate family members or going out with a large family, you can use the information above to understand your role as an adult and do it better for yourself and others.