Four Phrases We All Say but Should Be Removed From Our Vocabulary

You’re probably saying things about yourself that you don’t really mean, like laughing at your own laziness or asking for opinions that don’t really matter. Unfortunately, the more you talk to them, the more power they have over you. Here are four phrases to watch out for.

“I am too lazy.”

You can tell yourself this when you’ve met the bare minimum, or when someone suggests or asks a question (eg, “Why don’t you try xyz?”). You can also say to yourself, “I’m too lazy,” when you notice something you want to try or learn more. This may seem like a humorous, self-deprecating way of brushing off an idea. Unfortunately, if you keep repeating this to yourself, you will begin to believe it. Constantly reprimanding that you are too lazy will not motivate you to make positive changes.

Laziness has its advantages. There is a classic adage (usually mistakenly attributed to Microsoft founder and philanthropist Bill Gates): “I choose the lazy person for the hard work. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. ” As we wrote earlier , laziness can be an asset that builds strong habits, rather than forcing you to go through the “noblest struggle.”

The next time you want to use your laziness as an excuse, try asking yourself the following questions:

• “What’s the next big step?”
• “Why don’t I want to try this?”

Even just knowing the next step can make you realize that the task was not as difficult as it sounds.

Your “laziness” can also be a mask for something else – perhaps you are afraid of failing or are already doing a huge number of tasks. In order to find a real solution, it is important to pinpoint exactly what your stumbling block is. Putting it all together under the general term “laziness”, things seem to be more permanent than they really are.

“I do not like them”.

We all have people and things that we don’t like. It `s naturally. You may not like someone who has hurt you or undermined your trust. You may also immediately feel dislike for someone based on the first impression or instant moment. It is important to remember that everything you say and describe is your projection. As the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey writes :

We see the world not as it is, but as we are – or as we are used to seeing it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we are, in essence, describing ourselves, our perception, our paradigms.

(Note: yes, my letter is a projection of me. I hate that everyone who reads this can analyze my letter. I try not to think about it.)

The next time you meet someone you don’t like right away, ask yourself, “Why?” As author Neil Strauss points out , your dislike for this person is most likely due to either envy or the other person reminding you of something you dislike (or want to tell) about yourself. Consider these two avenues the next time you feel a pang of dislike.

However, envy can be ingenious. If you are jealous of someone, break that thought and ask yourself why you are jealous. Follow that feeling because it can guide you towards new goals and where you should try next, or where you should spend more time achieving. You may need to reconsider or reconcile this belief or value.

If you don’t like something about yourself, admit it. It is not the other person’s fault that he reminds you of your flaws or qualities that you are not proud of. If you want to work on it, try rethinking it . The next time you find that you don’t like someone, ask yourself:

• “Why don’t I like this person? Do I envy him or do they remind me of something about me? “
• “What do I like about them? What can I learn from them? “

Everyone has redemptive qualities, or at least experiences to learn from . I’m not saying that you should force yourself to love everyone, but it’s in your best interest to at least be polite. The world is small. And if they haven’t really done anything to hurt you, dislike is more your reaction than their actions.

“They are much smarter than me. I can never do that. “

My friend longingly told me about this in the school cafeteria after the exam. If I could go back, I would tell her that “smart” is the general term we give to people who are better at something than we are (usually at tasks that require thinking). When you say this, you have come to terms with the fact that you will never match this person’s achievements. ( Ever! )

Remember, there are different types of intelligence . It is important to know which ones you are gifted in and which ones need to be improved. It is unlikely that anyone is better than you at every thing. Find out if you can use your gifts and apply them in the situation.

The term “smart” is also the result of “fixed” thinking. Basically, this means that you believe that intelligence is an innate trait and you will not be able to improve yours. Conversely, there is the “growth” mindset , which states that you can improve with practice. Change your mindset for growth. Intelligence is malleable and you can learn and improve.

Here’s some food for thought the next time you get discouraged by someone’s support:

• “What are they DOING that I am not doing?”
• “Who can I learn from to accelerate my growth?”
• “What can I do to compete effectively (or excel)?”
• “ What do I do better than them? How can I use this asset? “

I’m not telling you that you will instantly excel in your areas, but it is likely that you can become better if you make even small changes in your life, learn other people’s strategies, and adapt yours accordingly. For example, you have low scores on exams because your teaching method is not the best for you or better than others.

“What would everyone think ?!”

Self-awareness helps us to see ourselves from the perspective of other people and to be more sensitive to the feelings of other people. You can use this to improve yourself. However, shyness can also hold you back from unexpected (or long overdue) changes due to your fear of other people’s opinions.

Usually: “What would everyone think ?!” refers to trying something new (for example, a belief, a life lesson, a new garment, a new haircut, or a new career decision, etc.). But do you care what “everyone” thinks ?

As the journalist Herbert Bayard Swoop Sr. once said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” You can never truly make everyone happy.

The Roman emperor and stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said : “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but their opinion is more concerned with our opinion.” You need to be aware of what close friends and family think and what you think of yourself. Nowadays, whatever happens, it is very likely that acquaintances and strangers will remain indifferent.

When you feel uncomfortable, consider these questions:

• “What will the people who are important to me think?”
• Should social norms stop me from trying this? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Will it hurt anyone? “

Sometimes things are too radical or too crazy for you to try. Social norms exist for a reason. But in many cases this is not the case. If you find that something is truly improving your life, you may wish you had tried it sooner.

Laziness can be an advantage, and there may be more gas in your tank than you think. People you don’t like are your reflection. You can get smarter and better. You don’t have to try to make everyone happy.

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