Ask Someone to Explain What They Said Before Getting Offended
Even your closest friend may say something that will offend you. Whether you think this is unintentionally insensitive or a straightforward feedback form, you should ask them to explain what they really meant. Otherwise, if you leave the incident up in the air, you might get angry with your friend.
Clarification is easy, but it’s not the most instinctive or easy thing in the world to express, especially if you haven’t done it before or if a certain amount of time has passed since the incident. Author Laura Coe shares two phrases that you can ask a friend to explain what they mean:
- “I’m sure you didn’t mean anything, but when you said _____ it hurt me.”
- “When you said __, I understood what ___ meant. Did you mean that? “
It will be awkward and difficult to start a conversation, but if something offended you, it is better to speak up, rather than bury your feelings. Ultimately, it will be better for yourself, as well as your relationships and friendships.
Dealing With Resentment | Laura Coe